Hey guys,
I (27M) wanted to share something I’m struggling with and get some outside perspective.
I met this girl (24F) online last year. We live in the same city, but when we met she was away on an exchange program. We started talking in January and the connection grew slowly but warmly. I told her early on I was interested in a serious, long-term relationship. She responded well to that and said when she comes back to the city, she’d love to meet and give this a real chance.
Since then, we’ve been talking in phases. (Kinda regular phases but still there are off times) She tends to disappear and then come back with more warmth, more interest, and claims her trust in this dynamic and me is growing everyday. She’s told me she’s usually very closed off but wants to try opening up this time and give this a real chance. Each time she pulled away, I gave her space. I also explicitly asked her more than once if talking to me was too much or if she wasn’t interested anymore, and that if so she could just tell me and I’d understand. She always said no, that she genuinely wanted to continue getting to know me and let things grow at their own pace.
She also told me she has body image issues and struggles with accepting affection or compliments, so I’ve always been gentle and careful with my words.
A few weeks ago, she disappeared again. I kept my patience because I know this was part of the pattern, but this time it was longer. I missed her and sent a short message saying I hope she’s okay, I miss talking to her, and I hope she’s back soon. No response.
A few days later I got genuinely worried, so I messaged again asking if she’s okay. She replied, “No. Everything is not okay. But I hope you’re enjoying life. And don’t worry.” I responded gently saying “take your time” but also told her I naturally worry because I care and I’m here for her.
After a few more days, I missed her and was still worried, so I sent her a voice message. It wasn’t dramatic just a sincere, heartfelt check-in. More like a quiet pep talk and a “I see you” message. I wanted to send her strength.
Since then again total silence. And her WhatsApp profile picture disappeared. I don’t know if I’ve been blocked or not. I haven’t messaged again. I’m trying to give space, but I also feel pretty heartbroken.
Every time I love or express openly, I end up being the one carrying the emotional weight alone. I’m tired of pouring care and thought into someone, only to be met with silence or unreciprocated efforts. I am not saying here that the other person owes me the same or have unsaid or automatic expectations. But i do believe i deserve clarity and honest communication.
It has happened a few times before too. I dont known if i am the problem. I have never been in a relationship like ever (i have tried to pursue 2 women before but it ended up being one sided love and leading on situations) Now i do feel i need companionship and human intimacy so much more than more. I don’t know if I did something wrong, or if my openness just overwhelms people. She never asked for distance. I never pushed. But I still somehow feel like I’m the one who broke something by showing I care. I’m left with that familiar feeling that I’m the one holding all the emotional weight. And it hurts. it hurts so much
Maybe I’m just writing this to feel less alone in this kind of dynamic. Thanks for reading.
Tldr: I (27M) met a girl online, we live in the same city. She said she wanted to talk and slowly build something serious. She would disappear often but always said she wanted to keep getting to know me. A few weeks ago she disappeared again. I sent a gentle voice message after giving her space. Since then, total silence and her WhatsApp profile picture is gone. I don’t know if I’m blocked. Feeling like I’m once again the only one holding the emotional weight. Just want to know if anyone understands. 🙁