My[20M] gf[19F] hid this from me and now i feel insecure and i think I’m being toxic.

So me(20) and this girl(19) got into a Long distance relationship and i feel like I’m being too insecure after this incident But i have my reasons.

We’ve been in a relationship for nearly 2.5 months. Initially, When asked about her past relationships she told me that she had an ex and she had this online friend with whom she sexted a couple of times in february. We got into our relationship on june. So since she said it was someone online i thought maybe it was some random dude on reddit and maybe got ghosted. When asked about the guy she told that she didn’t want to talk about it so i left it. But two weeks back i was casually reading using her Id and she was on also on call. So i was asking about her friends and i asked about him. She revealed that he was the guy she used to sext with. (I read her chats and she made it clear to him that she had a boyfriend. Nothing flirty. Nothing sexual. She mentioned about me a lot in their chat, in a positive way) I felt betrayed that she never once mentioned that she was still in touch with him to me. And we were together for two months. I was heartbroken that she hid it from me. When asked about it she told that she had nobody during her drop year and he was the only person she used to talk to and he was “emotionally supportive”. (They’ve been friends since October 2024 and sexted a couple of times in feb, as she said). She said she felt guilty of sexting with him without commitment so she stopped after a couple of times. I asked her if she had feelings for him and she denied. Then i did an “interrogation” for like an hour and she eventually accepted that at some point she had feelings but it faded away and she swore that she never had feelings for him during our relationship. She told that he didn’t have many friends and wanted to be there for him because he was there for her when she was down. I told her she could have at least told me and she told that she didn’t want to let him down and didn’t want to upset me either. I felt hurt and she cried a lot and started calling herself a w*ore too. I felt bad. She cut him off since that day. I never found anything sus in their chat at all. Maybe he tried to hit on her but she kept mentioning my name casually and he got pissed off and started avoiding her. She apologized. I understood even though i was deeply hurt. Still, i was sure she didn’t have any feelings but yeah deep down it kept hurting me and i was overthinking a lot. So i bought this up and mocked her that she hid things from me. I still overthink about it since i felt betrayed that she hid it. She even recently confessed that she felt guilty of letting him go. I didn’t know how to react.

Yesterday i bought this up again and she was like “yeah what are you implying. It was my fault, yeah. And I’m a whre. I’m a bich.” And i felt bad that i made her feel this way. Then we started talking normally again. So am i at fault for bring this up multiple times and making her feel like a b*tch. I do believe that she didn’t have any feelings for him and was just there for him as a support but still, it hurt that she hid it from me.

Talking about our relationship, the only moment i felt hurt was when she hid about her “fling”. She’s a very good person. She makes me happy and I’m grateful to have such an amazing person in my life. Talking about her, she has been through a lot. I mean, A LOT. I can’t say it out here but i mean it. I don’t even wish those thing on my enemy but she has faced them. I love her whole heartedly. I wanna make her happy but i think I’m making her miserable. sometimes i did some mistakes too and she did some mistakes too. She has been honest about everything else except for this one occasion and I started getting really possessive since then. I read her chats and she knows it too. Maybe I’m insecure too. Tbh yes i am insecure since the “fling” incident.

Was It my fault. Was she right to do this,? Am i being too insecure? How do i deal with this situation. Please be respectful.

tl;dr : My girlfriend had sexted with a guy online before our relationship and continued to be friends with him through our relationship and didn’t inform me about it. Now i have trust issues and insecurities. Read the second paragraph fully for context. No she didn’t cheat.