Is this relationship salvageable?

TL;DR: I (31M, British) have been dating my GF (27F, Asian/Indian background) for 9 months. Things moved fast, and while there’s love and connection, I’m starting to question if we’re truly compatible — and it’s breaking me a bit.

We met online, both living abroad, both out of long-term relationships. The first few weeks were magical — long walks, beach days, late-night convos. We clicked deeply. She was over the moon when I asked to be exclusive. We both said we don’t want marriage, kids still undecided. But after about a month, things started to shift. She told me that in her culture, being in a relationship is basically equivalent to being a wife — not legally, but in terms of treatment and expectation. I get that now, and I respect it, but at the time I was still trying to get to know her.

Since then, we’ve had recurring tension: miscommunications, emotional distance, and serious trust issues. She’s been hurt before, as have I. She struggles with my close female friends, even though I’ve offered full transparency and to introduce them. I’ve done my best to reassure her — sometimes it lands, sometimes it doesn’t. When she feels unloved or unprioritized, she shuts down, and I back off because I don’t want to push. It creates this cycle of emotional whiplash that’s honestly exhausting.

I’m starting to realize I might be avoidant when things get rocky, and she leans anxious. We’ve both agreed to look into therapy, but I’m deeply torn. I care about her — a lot. But I’m worn out. When a relationship feels like constant effort just to stay afloat… is that a sign it’s not right? Or am I just giving up too soon? Would love to hear from anyone who’s been in something similar.

**Has been posted in another group, however just looking for all and any advice available, thanks!