I (F20) have been dating my boyfriend (M20) for 6 months now, going on 7. I love him to bits and pieces, and he is the first guy I have ever had this deep of a connection with (I know everyone says that every time they date someone, but this feels different). We have had bumps in the road though, recently he moved into his mom’s house after trouble with his dad (his parents are divorced). The details aren’t important, but what’s important is that his mom is as insane as his dad. She treats him as a child to an extreme level and is emotionally abusive to him. For clarification for what Im about mention, she has never meet my mother. Anywho one night I went out with him to see the sunrise at the beach (which by the way he lets his mother know he will be leaving for the night). Anywho she shows up at MY house, asking if insert MY full legal name is here and my mother has to deal with this crazy women acting like a child is missing. The point of all this is, is that we are already going through a rough patch, so this next part just is the top of it all. For another context, my boyfriend has always recently had lost his job (he used to work with his dad), so money for him is tight. Tonight, I was just informed by my boyfriend that he just spent most of his money on something super inappropriate (that I won’t share on here). This is my last straw, and I’m at the point of where I don’t know what to do, so that’s why I am coming here. Im not asking if anyone is in the right or wrong, Im just baffled at this point on what I should even do at this point. So what should I do?
TL;DR My boyfriend has a crazy mom and he spent all his money on something inappropriate as someone who is unemployed and I don’t know what to do.
Comments
you’re not his mom & you don’t live together. you have no right to be “baffled” about what he does or doesn’t spend his money on. if he has bills to pay? well.. his problem not yours.
What is your question? What do you want to happen?
Can your BF return whatever it is that he bought? Or have you communicated that whatever this purchase was, was inappropriate and has he acknowledged or agreed as well?
7 months? Cake. Throw the whole family out. My mother would have given me hell in a handbasket if anyone like that pulled up to her doorstep.
Imagine your mother having to stand with that woman at your wedding. No ma’am. Dump his broke ass.
You guys are super young , this is just a rough patch .
His family is just crazy lol
He has been treated like a child by his mother so he is acting like a child, not a big surprise.
After 6 months, there aren’t supposed to be “bumps”. The fact that this feels so hard for you right now indicates the relationship is not good for you.
What he does with his money is his business, and you’re falling into the trap of mothering him. Don’t.
Walk away. If you try to bail him out of this mess, you will end up playing mommy and daddy to him. You will keep having ton cover bills when he spends impulsively. You will have to deal with the shouting and disregulatiom because he isn’t motivated to sort out his issues from being raised by shit parents.
It will all be you. Maybe if you leave him, he will get himself together. You can’t make him want to do it.