I (32F) was seeing this guy (32M) for about a month and we recently had a massive fight about values. When we first met he said he doesn’t want to discuss religion and politics on a first date. I personally think that’s a very important topic that should be discussed early on.
The other day he messaged me, expressing his concern about our compatibility long her, and one of the main issues was that he’s very religious. I didn’t know that, he briefly made some religious jokes at the beginning but it didn’t seem like it was that important to him. Then right after we had sex for the first time, he started talking about Jesus for hours. It still felt like a joke, but it really disturbed me. This happened again the next time, the exact same situation. I told him multiple times I’m not comfortable with that, I’m not religious and though I have nothing against other people’s beliefs, it felt really pushed on me. He said things like “This could be a dealbreaker long term” and “I don’t understand why you won’t convert”.
When we were having the conversation the other day through text, I told him this should’ve been communicated to me earlier, not after we’ve had sex, and he said again that he doesn’t talk about politics and religion from day one and that I make everything too intense. Even if it wasn’t on day one, he had multiple chances to share how important his faith was with me. I think it was unfair, because I had no idea how much he would talk about it, it is an issue when you have to constantly listen about something that is not part or your life, instead of building a connection with that person. The main issue isn’t even the talk, but how much I felt pushed. If I’d known that earlier, I would’ve ended things before it got too far.
TL;DR: The guy I was seeing didn’t communicate how important religion is to him until after we had sex, which I thought was unfair but he doesn’t agree the topic should’ve been brought up earlier.