Hi Reddit, I (21F) really need some perspective right now.
I’ve been in a long-distance relationship with my boyfriend (22M) for 11 months. We can’t met in person yet , and we only communicate online and via calls. At the beginning, our relationship felt like a dream — full of excitement, love, and constant connection.
Lately, I’ve noticed that my emotions, mood, and mental stability depend heavily on his behavior. I cry, overthink, and constantly wonder if he loves me, or if his feelings have decreased. Sometimes I feel like he might be bored of me because, for example, he doesn’t greet me in the morning with the same excitement he did at the start. I’m very sensitive to small details, and we end up arguing over silly things almost every day.
I’m seriously considering pausing our relationship until we have the chance to live in the same city. I want to express my feelings every day, but right now, the distance makes me anxious and insecure. I’m deeply in love with him, but I don’t know what to do anymore — our relationship has gone from feeling like a dream to feeling constantly tense and fragile.
My question: How can I stop tying my emotional well-being to his behavior, manage my anxiety, and decide whether pausing the relationship is the right step?
TL;DR:
21F in an 11-month long-distance relationship with a 22M My emotions swing with his behavior; I cry, overthink, and argue over small things. Considering pausing the relationship until we live in the same city. How can I stop being emotionally dependent and manage my anxiety?