I have lipedema and it’s affecting my sexual life and mental health.
This is absolutely the biggest hurdle for me. I have lipedema in my arms and legs, arms are saggy and thighs are full of holes, one leg is bigger than the other too. I have saggy breasts in my late 20s. My calves are big and I’m also overweight (5’6 ans 180 lbs)
It’s a condition that cannot be cured completely, only minimized so I know I’ll have to deal with it.
I hate the way I look and because of this, I struggle with intimacy. I don’t want a man to see me naked and see my vulnerability exposed but I realize that someday I’ll have to deal with it or I won’t date anyone.
I’m sure I’m not alone in this, and I know many people struggle with body image so I wanted to hear what has worked for you.
Comments
If a man wants to have sex with you, he is already attracted to you and wants to see you naked. He isn’t looking at all your perceived imperfections, he is just focused on and really excited about the fact that he is going to have sex.
I had poor self body image and as simple as it sounds what helped was actually sleeping with people and confronting that fear and then realising it was in my own head and nobody else gave a shit about it. Which then in turn really boosted my confidence and comfortability with my own body.
The way we feel about ourselves isn’t a reflection of how others feel about you. You at least recognize and have named that you have poor body image so work on slowly separating the idea that you will allow other people to form their own opinions about you than decide for others that what you think about yourself is what they think. There’s probably many things about other people you are personally attracted to about them, that they might be less confident about and none of their self perceived flaws would ever sway you otherwise from how you see them.
I would until that point work on gaining body neutrality. Start with just praising your body with doing its job out loud. We did good today with cleaning, we worked really hard to ace that test, we planned a really nice party, etc. Just end your day praising yourself for the things you did.
The reason why outloud to yourself is that it actually shows an effect with reducing the anxious responses of our amydala. Look up “affect labeling” for anxiety reduction and relabeling negative self thought. It also is part of metarecognition when you say things out loud it it can give you the ability to think about your own thinking.
Eventually you can use this to challenge your negative thoughts too. Why do I hate on my myself? When did this start? Oh at 8 years old when a mean aunt told me I’m chubby and no one will like me. Most people’s insecurities started with someone else but one person’s insecurity being pushed onto you isn’t the reality of all people.