I told her that she genuinely deserves someone better.

I’m a young guy working as a cashier. Its not a glamorous job but it’s a job that needs doing. Anyways, recently I met a girl who likes me (Won’t reveal her name due to safety reasons. Better safe than sorry). Today I met her again, few hours ago. We went for a walk. I told her the truth. I told her everything. Told her that I have a short temper which got me in trouble a lot of times and that I’m afraid of unintentionally lashing out, making her upset, afraid or angry. I prefer her to be with someone else than hurting her in any way. Told her about how I almost jumped out of 5th floor and killed myself yesterday… I told her that she genuinely deserves someone better than a freakshow like me. Someone stronger, kinder, smarter and more honorable. She’s beautiful, kind, smart, warm, funny and I genuinely do hope she’ll find happiness and have a good life. We did argue but honestly? She took it better than I expected. It could’ve been worse. I won’t reveal the whole argument but shortly after I told her goodbye and wished her goodluck she told me “you are a good person. You aren’t the monster you think you are”. That part stuck with me deeply. Plus her eyes… she tried not to show it but I could see the pain in her eyes which made me feel even worse. I never had a high self-esteem, I still do not think I’m a good person. I removed the bad part from her life (that bad part being me of course), but why does it hurts so much? Her last words and pain in her eyes… I cannot stop thinking about that. PS: forgot to mention, I’m working on my self-control and will start seeing therapist soon