I can’t believe I ever did this and I still feel horribly sick thinking about it. When I (21f) was younger, around 8 or 9, I would go look for my cat in her hiding spot and drag her out to go play and so I could pet her. But then, when no one was around, I would pick her up by her tail until she scrambled and tried to attack me. I still feel sick thinking about the way she looked with such fear and pain 🙁 I did that several times before I didn’t do it again. In the years following, I grew a close attachment to her and she started to like me again (obviously she avoided me like the plague after what I did), and I was devastated when she passed away from cancer. I still carry a piece of her with me, a custom pillow of her that I take everywhere. It’s been over a decade since what I did and I hold so much regret and anger at myself. I love animals so much and I can’t believe I hurt one, especially my own. I feel like crap and this haunts me every day and I’m crying now just thinking about how much I traumatized that poor baby 🙁 I feel so sick. It’s my biggest regret in life. All I wish for is that I could tell her how sorry I am 🙁 I loved her so much 🙁
Comments
Murderer.
If you grew up in a dysfunctional/abusive home then it is common for a child to act out what is projected onto them because the household deems those actions to be normal.
If that was your situation then you should be proud to have stopped the generational curse & chose love.
Sometimes, to overcome childhood actions, it helps to tell your past actions to the cat you have now & Ask for forgiveness. If you don’t have a cat maybe consider adopting one that reminds you of the first cat.
However you decide to heal, just know that your remorse is healthy. You’re displaying empathy.
I am sorry to hear it. Many of us do things that we regret. What matters most is that you grew, showed compassion, and carry genuine love in your heart now.
Your cat may have been in fear in those times, but animals also sense love. The kindness you gave her later most likely brought comfort and trust in her. And she probably forgave you for not being perfect and making mistakes.
We all make mistakes. The important part is that we learn from them.
I have a regret very similar to yours while not exactly the same. My family got a new dog after my childhood dog passed. We got a Frenchie and I adore him. I was roughly the same age as you when I did this but I’d shove him off my bed and he’d fall on the ground. He ended up never entering my room or trying to jump on my bed. I felt horrible and have now built a loving and nurturing relationship with him but I absolutely hate what I did back then. We can blame it on age and immaturity but it’s still fucked up no matter what. I’m glad you know what you did back then was wrong and you have grown from it. Your cats slow but sure forgiveness is all you need to think about
Show some kindness and forgiveness to your 9 year old self. She was just a child and barely knew what she was doing. Kids are dumb and they’re also innocent. Forgive her.
Sometimes kids pick up cats by the tails and it doesn’t mean you have to be traumatized or anything like that it can just mean impulsive child brain. It’s not like you unalived it or continued doing this to other cats. I’m sure your cat was all good eventually, they have 9 lives for a reason.
It sounds like your own cat forgave you when you stopped— she died feeling loved and safe around you. I think it’s time you forgive yourself too ❤️
You sweet kid. You were a child and figuring out life around you. Forgive that little girl and be proud of who you are today. And you probably need to let go of that pillow too. It’s just you carrying around guilt and punishing yourself for something a little kid did ages ago. Donate that pillow and forgive that little girl. You deserve that.
You were old enough to know it was a bad thing to do, you probably knew you were being mean, but I dont think you were old enough to actually understand.
I dont think most kids fully grasp that animals are living beings, just like us. Or that doing something like that is straight up cruel, and could have a lasting effect on the animals’ emotional state, you probably just thought you were being a bit of a brat.
This is why young children should be taught explicitly hot to interact with animals, and shouldn’t really be left unsupervised with them.