My dad and my step-mom have been together for 10 years, married for 7, and have 2 children (one is 2, the other is 6). Ever since they’ve been together, it’s been pretty obvious it’s toxic. My step-mom is very manipulative, and will go to great lengths to get what she wants.
She wanted a dog, but when she realized she actually had to take care of the dog, she gave it away. She wanted cats, but when she realized they shed fur, she released them outside. She wanted another dog, but when it would want affection, she’d lock it in the entryway.
My dad already had 2 kids, plus he helped my mom raise my 2 other sisters. He had gotten a vasectomy and told everyone he was done! No more kids. My step-mom really wanted kids. She got him to get replugged, then they tried for years and finally got pregnant. The pregnancy was not great, and she had multiple complications with the birth. Even though she was deep in postpartum depression, she wanted another kid. But nothing worked.
They spent thousands on implantations and treatments to try and get pregnant. My dad told her that if she hadn’t gotten pregnant by his birthday, he was done. No more trying. His birthday passed, still no pregnancy. She begged him to try one last time and that time worked. But the pregnancy was horrible, and they would get into arguments often, but my dad would always back out. Even before she was pregnant, they would still argue quite a lot even in front of their son…
2 years after their second son was born (a few months ago now), my dad told me he needed to tell me something. He told me that she’s lesbian. At first I thought it was a joke, because unfortunately that is my dad’s humor so I laughed. But when I looked at his eyes and saw that he was serious, I was shocked. It took me weeks to get over this. Lesbian. 0% men. She stayed with my dad for 10 years and made our life hell and she never even loved my dad. The news kinda broke my family, my dad’s mom is super shocked and is still in denial.
My dad is in the army, and was soon gonna be transferred to a new base, and was told that it might be a whole province over. My dad and step-mom agreed to keep living together, not tell the kids yet and just each do their own thing. My dad would get an apartment paid by the army near his new base, and come on weekends to see the kids.
I just found out though that they are finalizing the divorce and my stepmom doesn’t want the kids. The kids SHE wanted. The kids my dad didn’t even want in the first place. He’s gonna get a bigger apartment near his new base, and live with the kids there. They’re selling the house, and I have no idea where my step-mom is going.
Ever since I found out, I’ve been really uncomfortable at their house, because the vibes are so weird. They talk to each other so passive aggressive but pretend to be fine in front of the kids. I can’t imagine the life they’re gonna have to go through. I feel so bad for my dad, but I feel as though he deserves it in a way, because he could’ve gotten out way sooner. And he even told me he asked her multiple times in the past if she was a lesbian and she always said no. I feel like he could’ve seen the red flags before it all came crashing down. I don’t text my dad much, and I haven’t seen him in weeks.
TLDR: happy family yay yay nope im a lesbian i never loved u and keep the kids loser omg what the hell is going on
Comments
I’m sorry, this is a lot to deal with. Perhaps a therapist could help sort through your emotions and help you be the best sister you can be to all your siblings. But, don’t forget to take care of you, first and foremost. Sending you peace and love 💕.
I’m sorry that’s happening to your dad, yourself and siblings! All of you could benefit from therapy; especially family therapy to process the emotions. Though I don’t know your age or dynamic with your siblings or dad, I’m sure they would appreciate your support in trying to heal what that woman broke. Good luck to your family!
Your dad your should get a paternity test on those kids.