Just wondering in your family does the person with the career makes all the money drive the nicest car? Or does the person that’s transporting the child drive the nicest car? 10 year difference in cars.
Edit. I’m the main caregiver for our child. I am a man. Her travel time to work is 40 minutes. My travel time is 3 hours take him to school and back.
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Depends on how many miles U put on the car for work.
Happy wife, happy life….or so they say
Wife has the nicer car staying home with the kids.
One income household here, with two cars. I drive either of my cars I like that day depending on needs. Sometimes I drive my truck, sometimes I drive may car. And to really blow your mind – sometimes I drive my Vespa.
Unless the nice car is needed for appearance purposes they should get the daily driver. Rack up the miles and run that car into the ground.
I guess I’m a bit more utilitarian.
Going to work requires a commuter vehicle – sedan or hatchback. As fuel efficient as possible. No SUVs or trucks unless the job requires it.
Someone taking care of kids would probably need a larger vehicle. An SUV or minivan probably. Efficiency isn’t as important because they typically aren’t driving as many miles.
As for who needs the luxury vehicle, I could make an argument for whoever is commuting. This is because they are driving more and would be able to enjoy the car a bit more. Kids are more likely to damage the car as well so the luxury car would get trashed more quickly.
Just my $0.02
My wife always got the newer and nicest car. This gave her the best chance to avoid a mechanical problem and having to deal with that. I also made sure she never had to fill the gas tank unless circumstances required it.
This was also true when there were two incomes. I’m not sure how that condition factors into the equation.
We shopped by practicality/function. My wife drives a smalll electric car because she has a commute and can charge for free at work. I work from home, but use an SUV because I am hauling kids to school and practice and use that vehicle for vacations and family outings. So I dont consider one being nicer than the other.
My truck is 14 years old and I love it. The wife always gets the new car. I couldn’t care less. Sometimes we swap depending on what we are doing.
The commuter is the beater, rack up the miles for only maintenance and gas money. The nice one is for groceries and vacations.
Which one fits the car seats best? That’s priority 1. Then for us it would be gas mileage – whoever is traveling further gets the car with best gas mileage.
Function
When our kids were little, my wife drove the newer minivan, and I drove the little hatchback.
Now that the kids are out of the house, she drives a little hatchback that’s more comfortable for her, and I drive a newer SUV.
For us it’s who takes better care of the car. I am the worse driver so more likely to scratch it i drive more and I leave trash and crap in the car so my wife gets the better car. If you both take good care then its based on which fits car seats better/ how bad your kids are in the car (at toddler age my car would be a trash heap because they throw their food everywhere). Then I would go to gas mileage for whoever drives the car the most.
I always give the safer(newer usually) car to my wife because she tends to drive the kids around more then I do.
3 hours to school ??? WTF??? Do you live on top of a mountain??
Neither. We take turns buying whatever we can afford, and it’s never brand new. My turn next time!
Not if they care about their marriage.
Depends on what will happen with the car. If one car is just going to be driven 5 miles each way and sit in a car park all day it might as well be a banger
I don’t see how “nice” matters here. The person working needs a great commuter car, decent radio, reliable, saves a bit on gas. That person likely doesn’t need an SUV, but that is job dependent. The child care taker also needs a larger car for the kid(s), the car seat(s), probably enough room for groceries and other things picked up on errands. It also needs to be safe and reliable.
We have two cars that are in both of our names. One is bigger and less gas efficient. The smaller one, which is “mine” is better with gas and has a great satellite radio. Sometimes, I have to go to events where I need a lot of materials and I drive “his” car. Sometimes, he’s got a 200 mile commute for a meeting and he takes “mine”. I put those words in parenthesis because the cars are ours and no one cares. My husband wants a little convertible for weekends and that will definitely be his. We have it budgeted (if he actually gets it) and I don’t really want to drive it.
Competing for who has the “nicer” car is a no go for us.
Safer car for the kids.
Older car for miles.
Assuming both cars are roadworthy and the career doesn’t require a showy car.
Depends. – Co-worker’s hubby was frugal, grabbed the little car fore his longer commutes and let her use the big van on her shorter.
Classic gender role gives “the mechanically inclined” guy the less reliable vehicle. Importance of bread winning, justifying a higher reliability comes on top of that, in your case.
Both me and my wife a well payed jobs (black and gold visas – so then some can roughly estimate over income.) We could without problem lived on one salary but she wants a career and I support her in that (which of course is modern in 2025 and the standard). This leads us to a big house with a big garden, e terrace and a big porche…and two really nice cars upfront.
To put this at the base
Of my core value: I don’t want a stay at home mom,
I want a woman with aspirations and a ladder to climb just as me.
My SO and I currently share a car, but when we can get a second one, we’ve figured I’ll get the newer one because my commute is longer and it would keep our old one running longer.
My wife ALWAYS has the newer car. She always had the longer drive to work, but she is work from home now, and I’m home all day as well.
Depends on usage. Is the stay at home parent hauling kids around? If so they should have the larger and/or more dependable car.
Is the career person driving a long way? That is an argument for the newer more dependable car.
Too many variables
My husband has always seen that I have the best car.
I was a stay-at-home mom. I got the nice car. That said, my husband does not give two shits about what kind of car he drives. All he wanted was a reliable car to get him to his office and back. Me? I wanted reliability but I also wanted a nice ride while I waited in the pick-up lane at school.
I’m older now, and no longer give two shits about what kind of car I drive.
we try make both equally mediocre. One more family hauler and one more economic cruiser.
Honestly, if both cars are road worthy, whoever takes care of the child should have the better one lol. I say this as I use to be the bread winner and recently moved to the stay at home dad roll cuz wife is in military and you can’t really just quit that
Family, no question. They need to have a reliable and safe vehicle.
I’m the family mechanic anyway so might as well have the older vehicle.
The wife will always have the nicest car. Whatever the newest safest least likely to break down vehicle we have.
I will always drive whatever shitbox hand me downs. Don’t matter. I ride the motorcycle 95% of the time anyway.
In most cases, the person driving the kids drives the safer, more reliable car, regardless of “niceness” or newness.
Of course, there can always be situational exceptions, but anyone who would regularly increase the risk to the health, well-being, and potential life of their child so they can have the shinier toy would make me question their parenting cred.
The nicer/safer vehicle goes to my wife and kids so they are more safe.
My mom was a homemaker and always drove the nicer, newer car. That was the only car we ever rode in as a family. My dad’s car was older and smaller and almost exclusively for him and his commutes.
Way past that, but when I quit work and stayed home with my kid, I just drove what I had for a while. Nice care. His car nice too. Then he bought me a fancier car than I had even bought myself and he kept this car the same.
Not as fancy. We used my car on weekends and some trips. He only used his for to and from work.
An hour and half drive to school?
I am the breadwinner in a family of six. My wife handles all the appointments, ballet, shopping, etc, because I have long days and travel. She got the new 2024 Honda Odyessy because I cant have her in a bind when Im not around.
This mystifies people, but my husband and I have 2 shared cars, and neither is his or mine. We rotate who drives what. I used to have the longer commute so drove the newer, more efficient car. Now he does, so he gets it most days. If we are taking our daughter somewhere, we usually take the nicer car, so whoever is in charge of the ride drives the nicer car. She’s older now so it’s not as much of a consideration. If one of use goes out of town, they will usually drive the nicer car.
I have always needed a pickup. My wife likes small SUVs.
Mostly, we took turns. I got a newer one, then she got a newer one.
IMO it’s less about “nice” more about “safe”
We have a truck and a small suv. Small suv is much safer crash test wise, so baby goes in the small suv with my wife- does not matter which is nicer.
All of our cars are nice
lol, the wife gets dibs and everyone else gets the seconds. If she decides later that she likes yours better she’ll swap. You sound like you’re new here in happy marriage land.
My wife has her vehicle and I have mine. The only time we trade is if one is in the shop or something. Both are small/medium newish SUVs (2022 and 2023). Hers is more lux, mine more utilitarian.
And if I want to have fun I go for a rip on the bike. (Or put a harness on my husky mix in the winter and let her rip)
We switch off. I got a new car 4 years ago, now he just got the new one. When we had 3 kids in car seats, I was driving the better car because it was big. Now that they drive themselves I downsized to a smaller SUV. My husband needs something big regardless because he tows a boat. So we’ll always have at least one larger truck/SUV. But he’ll drive his into the ground, we keep cars 12 years usually.
The nicer car should be the one that drives the least amount of miles
Whoever drives the kids more gets the better vehicle.
Usually the one with the kids takes the larger one
We drive the car we bought and paid for. He bought his. I bought mine.
Doesn’t apply to me, as we only have one car and my wife’s office is a 5 minute walk from our place.
Growing up, dad always left the good car for my mother, even though she drove less.
If my situation was different, even though I drive our daughter around, I’d probably leave the good car to my wife as I’m a far more experienced driver, yet my wife would likely protest and insist I took the good one because I’m driving our daughter.
Honestly, too many variables. Just do what works for your family.
I always drive the nice car, I cart around more people.
Whoever has the kids more gets the nicer/safer car in my opinion.
I make more. I drive an old Toyota prius. Fuel efficient. The wife drives the kids more (3) and has the “nicer” minivan. It’s n8ce but it’s a minivan, so. We both have hyper practical vehicles.
I’m the single income. I drive a 15 year old luxury sedan with 160k miles. My wife drives a 10 year old fully loaded minivan with 130k miles.
You tell me which is better, because I can’t.
Can you give a little context here? I have an opinion but I’m trying to figure out how it makes sense to drive that much for taking a child to school unless they need super specialized treatments, classes, etc. I scrolled a little bit but nobody else seems to be thinking that is an odd thing. I don’t know anyone who drives more than 10 minutes or so to get their kids to school, so a minimum of 4 times that is odd.
In the case that your child has special needs, I think it is obvious the nice one should go to the family driver because there is so much more time spent in the car but also the child is going to spend their time in there too. Plus, the vehicle may need to have modifications to accommodate any special equipment like wheelchairs etc. I have ZERO idea if any of this applies to you but it is the only way I can justify spending that much time driving a child back and forth to school.
If that’s not the case, I think the “nice” car should either belong or be leased by the career parent because if something goes bad with it, it is more likely to be covered by a warranty because of fewer miles on it. If you do your own maintenance and are very good about it, it doesn’t matter.
It probably should bear meaning who actually cares more too. My partner’s car is simply a means of getting around and hauling kids when necessary and can do both just fine. I care way more about what I drive, how it is maintained, and taking care of it.
If that is the case for you, whoever cares most should have the nicer car because they will appreciate it more.
The bottom line is putting your kid in something that is safe, and that should be the number 1 priority regardless of who wants the nicer car. There are plenty of 10 year old cars that have better safety ratings than some brand new cars.
Is moving or changing your kids school an option? It seems like you’re wasting your life driving.
I don’t think there’s any wrong/right answer to your question. Just lots of opinions.
Whichever partner scores lowest on Agreeableness personality trait drives the nicest car.
My wife takes the city bus to work and to run errands and pick our 7 kids up from 3 different schools while I just drive around in my Lamborghini doing burnouts and donuts and racing teenagers in Dodge Chargers and hitting on cute women all day.
We have two incomes and one car. I make more money and chose the car (but my wife liked it too). When we both need to go out she takes the car and I take a bicycle lol
I drive the nicer car since it’s better on gas while he takes the crappy SUV since he doesn’t drive much and it’s a gas guzzler. I drive a full 300-mile tank a week and I work 4 days. Now when it gets cold I will happily switch as he wants so he and the kids are comfortable but we’re about to start looking to replace the crappy car with a newer used car that isn’t so shit. For us it works but it wouldn’t for everyone
If the nice car is needed to drive around clients (real estate, ect) the the professional gets the nicer car. Otherwise, the commuter gets something reliable & economical and the family gets something plusher.
My dad always stood by the notion that the wife should drive the nicer vehicle.
Wife has the nicer car because she’s with our kids all fay. I drive the pos to work
I’d consider utility, mileage, and prestige.
If the other car is a junker, and the job is something where appearances matter socially, nicer car goes to career person.
If one commute is significantly further than the other, mileage is considered (but could be overruled if money isn’t as much of a concern).
Utility also packs a big punch. Truck with a bed when something needs moved? Suv/minivan when bodies need moved? Not the sports car when groceries need picked up?
There’s a lot of little factors that add up. But it’s never really come up much in my family (born-to or married-to).
Well, as the main breadwinner and the one who does the most driving, and being a man, whenever we upgraded our worst car, the old remaining car would automatically be passed down and the shiny new one would go to her.
Sorry, so what’s your point here? That you want a new car?
I always gave nicer one to the family. We work hard to provide for the family, I am just commuting to work, I don’t need the nicer car
The family car by a lot. I rarely even keep a car these days. The career person driving a nice car only makes sense if it’s part of the job like sales or real estate where you’re taking your customers somewhere in your car.