I don’t ever ask my parents to wake me up, they just do, which is kind of them. But when I set an alarm for 7am, for example, and I tell my mom this, she’ll wake me up 40+ minutes earlier. This exact thing happened to me this morning. It bothers me because my sleep is really important to me. I’ve told her this but she keeps on doing it.
My mother intentionally wakes up earlier than I want, what do I do?
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Tell her you have an alarm for 7:40am instead.
Be clear and firm…. thank her for caring, but tell her waking you early hurts more than helps. Ask her not to wake you at all and let your alarm do its job. If she insists, set boundaries by keeping your door closed or using earplugs.
Calmly explain why, don’t get angry, but also let her know how important it is to you
They need to know about sleep phases, like wake you up in a deep phase fucks with your day. If they respect that science they might try to adjust appropriately. Learn about it, tell them, and then they should act accordingly, if they really try to be nice.
Just tell her an hour after you plan on waking up
Might be time to get your own place
Get a squirt bottle and when she comes in to bother her squirt her in the face. That’s what I do with my dog.
Don’t live with your mom
If you are older than 18 OP, this may be a subtle signal.
Combined with the rest of your posts about no dentist in 3 years and neglect about pain/your ask to visit the doctor I’d say there might be something here. You are a bit too young to move out but you should consider talking to your parents a bit more seriously about your concerns.
Leave her a bad TripAdvisor review and no tip
That sounds frustrating and setting a clear boundary by letting her know you want to be responsible for your own alarm might be the best way to handle it.
Just don’t tell them when you need to wake up. Keep using alarm.
All about framing, bro. “Please allow me to be responsible for myself waking up on time. I need to get in the habit of holding myself accountable for my decisions and cannot do that if you are constantly holding my hand”
First, if you have been getting up on your own reliably for a few months it feels like a long time. But your mom still remembers the last few years when it was a hassle to get you up in time. So if you had been sleeping in late in the past, then you need to sit down and talk about what will happen if you do sleep in, How are you going to get to school, that kind of stuff. Are you cranky if you get up too late? Promise that you have it handled. Also if you realize you aren’t giving yourself enough time then you need to set your alarm earlier. Maybe compromise by setting your alarm for 20 minutes earlier and make sure you get out of bed right away
You live with your parents so you do not have autonomy or agency. You cannot dictate terms to them. You cannot tell them anything.
Your mother has determined that you stay up too late doing nonsense stuff on screens and that is bad for you. She gets you up early to combat that fact. The funny thing is that when you are 40 you will realize that your mother was right.
Tell her that if you’re ever going to be a successful adult, you have to learn how to wake your own self up and be responsible for your own schedule.
If that fails, lie about when you have to be awake so that it changes the time she wakes you up.
Passive/Aggressive
After a while that would make me feel like she doesn’t trust me to manage time on my own.
OR, that she doesn’t want me to learn time management on my own, and she wants me to keep being dependent on her for my most basic needs.
I would ask her directly: which of these is the reason she keeps waking you up before the alarm YOU set for YOURSELF? Is it a) she doesn’t think you’re responsible enough? Or b) “mama wuvs her widdle babyy, stay baby forweverr”
Because right now, by ignoring you, she saying she knows what is better for you than you do for yourself.
Sleep deprivation is a form of abuse
Sounds like she wants you to leave and find your own place?
Talk to her about it
You don’t need to tell her what time you set your alarm for. This is a problem that doesn’t need to exist. Just stop telling her
Tell her you want to wake up at 8.
Set your alarm for 7. She wakes you up at 7.20 and you’re already awake.
Why are you telling you telling your parents what time you’ve set your alarm for in the first place?
Might want to wake her up an hour after she has gone to sleep at night and when she asks why say it’s something you thought she’d appreciate since she does it to you all the time. Wake you up when you planned to be staying asleep.
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Go to sleep early and wake her up 40 minutes earlier than she planned to get up. When she asks you why, you can tell her that she did this for you and you thought it only fair to return the favor. Better yet, do the opposite. Wait for her to fall asleep and pull an all-nighter waking her up every 40 minutes.
Or I guess you could try to communicate with her like a normal person, but if that fails.. ya know
Short-term commitment; wake yourself up an hour before she does, and go wake her up an hour early.
Threaten them that you seriously consider to move out and relocate far away from where you live now.
Either they respect you or you escape them.
Big sign on your door “do not wake me up”.