I’ve (36F) been with my partner (36M)for a year now. He used to play with my ears in affectionate ways, gentle sucking and licking, but recently he’s been turning to biting. I’ve said “ow” multiple times and stop, and while he stops in the moment, he continues the biting next time we have sex. The last time it was so painful, I started balling my eyes out and swore he drew blood. He says he’s sorry, and that it’s a mistake, that it’s difficult for him to know the line between gentle and too hard. Because he can’t seem to figure it out, I told him just no more biting or playing with my ears anymore, period.
A couple months went by with no issues, until one day my boobs were extra sensitive because of my period. I told him before foreplay that they were sensitive and to go gentle on me. In the year of us being together, he’s never bitten my nipples, but of course, the day I said they are sensitive, he goes straight for the bite. I said ow and he said sorry then asked if he bit me, which I said yes, obviously. He cried and felt bad, but I just don’t know what to do. Is he really this oblivious to how to bite? Is it an extreme lack of experience from him being single for ten years or is he purposely crossing my boundaries and pushing limits when he knows he shouldn’t be? I just can’t help but feel everything he does his on purpose. Especially bc the timing of when he chooses to bite.
TL’DR: 36f being bitten by 36M. Told him to stop but biting continues next time and even harder. When asked to just stop touching area completely, he found a new place to bite months later.
Comments
I would say to trust your gut. It sounds pretty deliberate of him to me. A way to push your boundaries or I’m sorry to say he may even enjoy making you uncomfortable/ causing some pain.
Honestly, I don’t see how he could accidentally do it. But, even if it was accidental, if he knows he has this tendency, why wouldn’t he avoid the sore area?
He’s not confused. You’ve explicitly told him that you want him to stop doing this, and he’s constantly kept doing it. This is deliberate boundary-pushing, and he is not a safe person for you to have sex with. Dump the bastard.
He knows exactly what he’s doing and he’s manipulating you with his tears and by playing dumb. Kick him to the curb.
Wouldn’t surprise me if he was that dumb, it’s still a possibility. Have a serious talk about it, let him know that it could possibly risk the relationship because if it does seem intentional you might have to give him the boot.