My boyfriend (M27) and I (F25) are a young couple and we recently bought our first home. We’re in a city subdivision. On the edge of our lot is a large 100 year old tree. The last owner had it trimmed every 5 or so years.
A couple months ago, one of my neighbors introduced herself and asked if we would be open to having the tree trimmed. They said that it was significantly hindering the enjoyment of their backyard from falling leaves and bugs. I didn’t really buy that because the majority of the cover is in our yard and I hardly notice it but I guess that’s besides the point.
She said that they are retired and pretty well off so money isn’t an issue for them. They weren’t concerned with the cost of hiring an arborist, only that we would agree to get it done and they would help pay for it. We wanted to keep the peace so I got a series of quotes and kept her in the loop via text about the process. I booked the one that was the best deal for next month. I wanted to be really fair about it, considering it is our tree, so I asked if they would be okay with taking on 30% of it, and we would pay 70%. Ever since she got the confirmation that it’s booked, I’ve been left on read. It’s now been two weeks since my last message.
My partner says that we were being too generous and that we should ask for 50%, but I didn’t want to come off as greedy. I feel pretty conflicted about this situation. On one hand, yes it’s our tree. But we wouldn’t have put the rush on it that we did if they didn’t come over and say that we were ruining their time outside. It could have waited another couple years. We are in a lot of debt and we don’t have a ton left over at the end of the month. Something doesn’t feel right about being stiffed for this money when these people made it out like they’re millionaires. It’s nothing to them, but a few hundred is a big deal to us.
We are budgeting as if we’ll have to eat the entire cost of the arborist. But we are both pissed. If the day comes and goes and we don’t hear from them, we will consider that relationship ruined and they won’t be welcome to ask us for anything in the future.
They’re not on vacation because I see their cars going in and out of the driveway. They are just ignoring us for whatever reason.
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My boyfriend (M27) and I (F25) are a young couple and we recently bought our first home. We’re in a city subdivision. On the edge of our lot is a large 100 year old tree. The last owner had it trimmed every 5 or so years.
A couple months ago, one of my neighbors introduced herself and asked if we would be open to having the tree trimmed. They said that it was significantly hindering the enjoyment of their backyard from falling leaves and bugs. I didn’t really buy that because the majority of the cover is in our yard and I hardly notice it but I guess that’s besides the point.
She said that they are retired and pretty well off so money isn’t an issue for them. They weren’t concerned with the cost of hiring an arborist, only that we would agree to get it done and they would help pay for it. We wanted to keep the peace so I got a series of quotes and kept her in the loop via text about the process. I booked the one that was the best deal for next month. I wanted to be really fair about it, considering it is our tree, so I asked if they would be okay with taking on 30% of it, and we would pay 70%. Ever since she got the confirmation that it’s booked, I’ve been left on read. It’s now been two weeks since my last message.
My partner says that we were being too generous and that we should ask for 50%, but I didn’t want to come off as greedy. I feel pretty conflicted about this situation. On one hand, yes it’s our tree. But we wouldn’t have put the rush on it that we did if they didn’t come over and say that we were ruining their time outside. It could have waited another couple years. We are in a lot of debt and we don’t have a ton left over at the end of the month. Something doesn’t feel right about being stiffed for this money when these people made it out like they’re millionaires. It’s nothing to them, but a few hundred is a big deal to us.
We are budgeting as if we’ll have to eat the entire cost of the arborist. But we are both pissed. If the day comes and goes and we don’t hear from them, we will consider that relationship ruined and they won’t be welcome to ask us for anything in the future.
They’re not on vacation because I see their cars going in and out of the driveway. They are just ignoring us for whatever reason.
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> I may be the asshole because I asked my neigbor to cover part of the cost of trimming a tree on my property.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. Cancel the appointment
NTA – If YOUR tree is bothering them, and not bothering you then they should be paying for it to be trimmed
If at any point it does start to bother you, then you can pay to have it trimmed if/when it suits you to
NTA, if the work isn’t done yet can you cancel without penalty? If so that’s what I would do at this point.
NTA. They asked for the trim, promised money wasn’t an issue, then ghosted once you booked it. You were more than fair at 30%. If they don’t pay up, that’s on them, not you. Lesson learned!!!
NTA- she’s shown her true colors by not responding. I would cancel the arborist and just get it done in a few years like you planned. Why are their needs more important than yours? It’s your tree and your yard.
NTA. Unless there is some law involved, I don’t see how you are OBLIGATED to trim the tree. I think that they wanted to hire their OWN arborist which means they would have DESTROYED your tree. I don’t mean to project but….
YTA for being furious at them. No one is making you do this lol. Like, the only reason this is a “conflict” is because you refuse to say “no”
It should always be a 50/50 Split. Maybe something else is going on with them.
NTA. Cancel the arborist so you can stop stressing about money. If/when the neighbor asks why or what’s happening, say: The tree wasn’t a priority for us, and when I didn’t see responses about the arrangements I figured it wasn’t a priority for you either.
Well just make them pay up front.
NTA
Cancel the arborist. When the ask, point out that they never responded, so you are saving up and will get it done when you can afford to.
If you pay the whole thing, you will never see a cent from them.
NTA. Since the neighbor hasn’t responded, cancel the appointment and leave your tree as is.
NTA
Speaking as someone who has both contributed to the cost of having a neighbour’s trees cut back and as someone who has paid the majority cost for having (different) neighbour’s hedges cut back – because they couldn’t afford it – you are opening a can of worms that’ll NEVER get closed to anyone’s satisfaction.
Get the tree trimmed to your timeline, budget and preference… if that’s not to the taste of your neighbours then… tough.
We’re currently on the market to move and one of the critical factors for our next house is that there are either no trees/hedges OR any that there are, are on OUR property so we have total control over them.
I’m sick of trimming other people’s bushes/trees and/or contributing to the cost of having them cut back, often NOT to the level agreed with the actual owners…
NTA. Arborist here. To generalize a bit- retired older neighbours love offering their opinions about their neighbours trees, and it usually involves cutting the back way more than necessary or removing them.
Let the company know ASAP that you need to cancel the job. It’s kind of unclear in your post but the job is only booked, not completed right? From there what I would do is nothing. If the neighbour brings it up to you again tell them you reached out but didn’t hear back. Let them know your budget is tight and you’ll reach out about it again when you can afford it. That way you can revise that 70/30 split 🙂
Nta, send a text saying if they do not respond or send the agreed upon amount by a certain date, you will be canceling the appointment as you don’t have the financial means to eat the full cost at this time for a non-emergency situation such as their current outdoor comfort.
If it is trimmed yet, make heat pay in advance, then schedule it
Be careful they don’t have somebody come in and ruin your tree.
NTA
Honey, just text her that you and your husband have since changed your minds about the tree. If you feel you should provide further detail, say one of the reasons you fell in love with the house is the 100 year old tree and for now you both plan to stick to the longstanding tree service schedule which means a small trim in a few years. That’s it. You are allowed to change your mind.
Cancel the arborist.
Why don’t you go over, knock on the door and ask?
First of all NTA. Secondly, where I’m from (Ontario) a homeowner has no obligation to trim a tree hanging into someone’s yard unless that tree poses some sort of risk to their safety. To be honest I feel you are being overly gracious offering to pay any of the cost of tree trimming much less the majority of the cost. The way I see it is that trees are just part of the natural landscape. As a homeowner you have the right to shape the landscape inside the bounds of your own property as you see fit. Including trimming tree branches you don’t like. However, I don’t think someone should be entitled to compensation because that tree originated in someone else’s yard. Trees don’t follow property lines, its unreasonable to expect that all trees will stop right at your fence. This is why the laws are written the way they are. If the tree poses a risk then fine those branches must be trimmed and the property owner will need to pay for it. However, if the tree is healthy and you simply don’t like it, then that’s a you problem.
You say the previous owner was trimming it every five years. When was the last time they trimmed it? If it was less than five years ago, cancel the appointment and wait. Seems like the 5 year arrangement was working for the neighbours before you moved in. Sounds like they’re trying to push the boundary a bit. NTA.
If the tree doesn’t need to be trimmed why bother. Especially if money is tight.
Why didn’t they say something to the previous owner ?
Put the project on hold unless you want to do it now and pay 100%. If she approaches you again, you know what the cost will be, tell her you’ll set it up as soon as she gets her portion to you.
Cancel if you can. Now.
Realistically in most states you are responsible for the portion of the tree that is over your property, they are responsible for the portion that is over her property…. so if it’s to be a “joint venture” they shouldn’t old be responsible for the same % of the cost
As the % that is over their property
“I haven’t heard back from you, we’re going to cancel at this time and circle back on it when our budget allows”
NTA, unless there’s a pressing need you should be focusing on getting out of debt and doing no non essential work on the house
NTA. You should cancel the appointment. Don’t let yourselves be played by assuming you can depend on the word of someone who’s basically a stranger to you. It’s not worth the risk of putting yourselves in a financial bind by rushing for the shifty sounding neighbor’s sake.
Cancel. If she asks you what happened let her know you cancelled because she never responded to you about payment 🤷🏽♀️
YTA. There’s no conflict here other than the one in your imagination. If you know they are home, go over and talk to them. Are people really this socially stunted?
“I didn’t want to come off as greedy”
Someone telling you to spend money to remove something of yours because they don’t like it. Ok
If you are with it as it is , then just leave it for the time being
If you are ‘furious’ at them for going back on they word just cancel it & wait 2 years
You are only going to be bitter about it if you go forward now, why do that to yourself?
They are going to pay because it is your tree and 100% your responsibility.
They sort of scammed you.
Cancel it
NTA.
I’m on the other side of this, although I’m not retired. My neighbor’s tree is way too big for their yard and actually is 1/2 hanging over into my yard. Per HOA and county regulations, it’s legal for me to trim everything that is on my side, but I don’t want to actually damage the tree. I’ve offered to pay for the entire thing to be removed or to have the entire thing trimmed professionally and am waiting to hear back. I can afford the cost. If your neighbors could and it was really impacting them and their enjoyment of their backyard, they’d be working with you on this. I can’t even plant anything because of this tree so I’m invested. They clearly aren’t.
NTA cancel and dont say anything unless they ask, then tell them you assumed they’d changed their minds.
I saw you’re worried about the quotes and dont want to have to repeat in a couple years, but honestly, you dont have to trim a tree every 5 years. I dont think I’ve ever paid to have a tree trimmed.
If you dont have the money, you dont have the money. Your savings/retirement/almost anything else is more important than throwing money at a tree that is healthy and not a danger to anyone.