My MIL tried to use my son as an emotional hostage.

r/

So MIL was good until pregnant. Then she decided she would just relive her motherhood through my son. Hard no.
And it devolved from there.
To the point where I do not contact her unless in a group chat with my SO so she can’t use it against me and say “I’m being mean to her.”
Anyways.
My baby just turned 2.
She was (reluctantly on my part) going to come to his birthday party, which was really just a pool party.
But then she decided she would come and stay with us for an entire week.
I’m an introvert, so another hard no.
Plus, we have a very bad relationship. I didn’t want her to stay with us at all.
But I agreed to let her stay the weekend.

And when hubby told her that, she lost her mind.
(He had always taken her side before this. It was really the lying about cancer to come visit in September that sort of broke him outta her spell.)
Started yelling at him, saying how ungrateful we are and how we’ll regret it when we don’t have parents who want to see us and how baby deserves a relationship with his grandma and how she deserves to see him.
(No she doesn’t.)
Hubby said she can stay a few days but that was all we were comfortable with.
So she said fine, don’t even bother inviting me to baby’s birthday party. I won’t be coming.

So I didn’t. And I didn’t let hubby either.

Now she’s mad she didn’t get an invite.

Well, don’t use my son in your selfish rants and manipulations.
I’m so tired of it.
But hubby doesn’t wanna cut his mom out of his life, so here we are.

Comments

  1. botinlaw Avatar

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  2. Sky-Lumi Avatar

    “He had always taken her side before this.” All I needed to know.

  3. Icy-You3075 Avatar

    Hubby can have a relationship with his mother, but that does not mean that you have to, or that you have to let her bully you and impose herself the way she tried to with the birthday party.

    You have the right to set boundaries with your husband and tell him that you won’t interfere with his relationship with his mother, but that you don’t want one with her.

  4. Late-Winner38 Avatar

    Sounds like you guys handled it perfectly! Way to enforce your boundaries and for your husband to stand up to her!

  5. TheGoldDragonHylan Avatar

    You oughtta’ve put the Success! flair on this. Damn. Well done.

  6. mama2babas Avatar

    My MIL is the saaaaame. My LO and I have been NC for over a year and she isn’t meeting my second son due in November

  7. CuteTangelo3137 Avatar

    Finally! One with a supportive DH and MIL gets what she deserves! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

  8. Shiner5132 Avatar

    My mom got ridiculously mad at me for holding basic boundaries with my girls (identical twins) she decided they wouldn’t show up to my girls 2nd birthday last month going as far as canceling her plane tickets, now she is truly shocked we don’t want her here immediately post partum with our 3rd (due in 3-5 weeks).

  9. boundaries4546 Avatar

    Looks like you won that round.

  10. k_rowz Avatar

    Hell yeah, keep fighting the good fight.

  11. Mazforever72 Avatar

    He can go see her whenever he wants but you and son can go low or no contact.

  12. Puzzleheaded-Bet4790 Avatar

    People get so mad when they get what thwy ask for…a weird human trait!

  13. JoyReader0 Avatar

    Actually, baby deserves to NOT have this woman in his life. Congratulations on getting her to stomp off in a huff. Don’t let her come back.

  14. Jacayrie Avatar

    The whole cancer thing is so messed up. My Mom was Dx with stage 3 colon cancer in Feb 2025, after emergency surgery at the ER, and they had to completely remove her colon and 18 lymph nodes. We were terrified bcuz we already lost my Dad almost 10 years ago from kidney failure, and a few years ago we lost both of my Mom’s parents. We don’t talk to our other family bcuz they talk shit nonstop, and our herd is thinning enough as it is. Now I have to get checked for colon cancer, and I’m only 36. She’s on chemo and will hopefully be done with it by next month. She’s not that old herself, she’s 58. She didn’t even find out what her test results were until a month later, when she was officially Dx with Colon cancer. Then a few weeks ago, my Moms younger brother was just Dx with stomach cancer, but I don’t know what stage or the specifics just yet, and he’s in his late 40s. The Dr told him that chemo might not save him and he has 2 young kids. Cancer isn’t something to play around about. I can’t stand people who fake shit like that. Seriously, I wouldn’t ever speak to her again, or at least for a very long time. Who TF says that‽ That’s disgusting. That bitch is one tinfoil hat away from a rubber room, at the rubber Ramada.

  15. Ok-Toe-3136 Avatar

    ✨👑✨A Masterclass✨👑✨

  16. Skankyho1 Avatar

    coming from someone whose mother died of cancer just a year ago and who’s father is currently battling cancer for the third time in two years your mother-in-law is truly an evil person for lying about having cancer. The fact that she would put her family through the torment and pain of hearing the words I have cancer come out of her mouth is absolutely horrible on her end, especially if she made it out to be terminal. but the second you hear those words about anyone you love it changes your life forever and I honestly don’t know why you or your actually speaking to her at all . I’m glad it your husband‘s eyes to her crazy basically but that is something that deserves an immediate don’t ever contact us again. We will never speak to you again once you find out it’s an actual lie.

    reminding your husband that she lied about having cancer. That’s what type of person your mother is if you really want her out of your life keep working that angle. I just cannot believe that someone would lie about having cancer to their family members just so they could get a visit. That is a truly evil person.

  17. cicadasinmyears Avatar

    “Fine, don’t invite me, SEE IF I CARE!!”

    doesn’t get invited

    “NOT LIKE THAT!!”

    Like, don’t threaten me with a good time, lady.

  18. Lindris Avatar

    The absolute vile level she had to sink to claim cancer is mind boggling to me. I’m pretty sure they don’t casually tell you over the phone either. I’m so sorry your husband is in the FOG with her to the point it took a fake cancer scare to open his eyes. Usually it gets pulled out during the holidays, hence why we call it Christmas cancer here. But it shocks me every time someone posts about it.

    I’m glad your son’s birthday was a success and that she FAFO about the invitation. I hope she lives a ways away so she doesn’t darken your doorstep too often.

  19. Puzzleheaded-Tap9150 Avatar

    Beautiful example of FAFO. “Don’t invite me” she said with an indignant huff ‘n’ puff. OP didn’t so what did evil MIL expect?? Begging, groveling, admitting that she was right would work? 🙄

    Well played OP. Mrs Sassy Assy has learned that y’all don’t take threats or personal requests lightly. 😉

  20. Etoilebleuetoile Avatar

    You would think she would learn that her lies are majorly backfiring and not working in her favor anymore and that you’ve caught on! She pushed the FAFO a little too much.

  21. keltr0nn Avatar

    Lol I’m also in a similar situation w/ my MIL. She has totally disrespected us in so many ways and my husband and I agreed if she is to ever visit again she would stay in a hotel because she is a hostile house guest and just toxic in general. She recently said she wants to visit and only would if we let her stay in our house, we reiterated hotel only. Then she said “I just won’t come then”. Ok girl bye ✌🏻
    I’m very much enjoying the space right now ☺️

  22. ManufacturerOld5501 Avatar

    I love it when they FAFO. You’re doing great and I am proud husband is on your side now. Keep thriving!