Me again,
I’m 6 months pregnant. My MIL hasn’t spoken to me in over 8 months. She’s known about the pregnancy for 3 months and chose total radio silence.
Until… tonight… At 11:03pm, she decides to break her silence with this “definitely heartfelt” email to me (and my husband):
“A long time coming but definitely heartfelt. Very excited and happy about your pregnancy and am here to help out whenever you ask.
XO Karen/Mom”
Like… nothing says heartfelt like waiting months and then firing off a midnight email after zero effort to repair the relationship.
Honestly, I don’t even want to respond. The door’s been closed on my end for a while now. Am I overreacting for not engaging, or is this just as ridiculous as it feels?
Comments
Quick Rule Reminders:
OP’s needs come first, avoid dramamongering, respect the flair, and don’t be an asshole. If your only advice is to jump straight to NC or divorce, your comment may be subject to removal at moderator discretion.
^(Full Rules) ^(|) ^(Acronym Index) ^(|) ^(Flair Guide)^(|) ^(Report PM Trolls)
Resources: ^(In Crisis?) ^(|) ^(Tips for Protecting Yourself) ^(|) ^(Our Book List) ^(|) ^(Our Wiki)
Other posts from /u/CountTricky4592:
The continued chronicles of the KAREN of all Karens (AND A MIL), 1 month ago
MIL gave me a 3-hour lecture on how awful I am before my wedding. Now I’m pregnant—and my husband wants to tell her. Do I remind her of my boundaries or wait for her to reach out?, 2 months ago
^(To be notified as soon as CountTricky4592 posts an update) [^click ^here.](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=botinlaw&subject=Subscribe&message=Subscribe CountTricky4592 JUSTNOMIL) ^(|) ^(For help managing your subscriptions,) ^(click here.)
^(I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please) ^(contact the moderators of this subreddit) ^(if you have any questions or concerns.)
You gotta wonder, considering the time frame, if she’s been in her cups and this is the MIL equivalent of drunk dialing your ex. No response needed.
Don’t respond. Your husband can handle all communication with her. Absolutely avoid stress during pregnancy and post partum time.
Don’t respond. In her mind, this email was her way of letting you know that she’s willing to move forward without you and SO apologizing to her. She’s been waiting and she probably thinks you’re embarrassed, so she’s **ahem** willing to be the bigger person and let bygones be bygones. For now.
Whatever caused the rift is still there and you’d be a fool to think anything can change without her acknowledging what she did and explaining what she’s willing to do to make earnest amends. And that ain’t gonna happen.
“A long time coming, but definitely heartfelt”?? Who even says that? Oh I know, someone who royally effed up and thinks she can worm her way back in with a few “kind” but totally fake words. Uh……..how about NO.
This is so performative it’s pathetic. She makes it extremely obvious the reason she’s even contacting you is the pregnancy. Not how her awful words or actions may have harmed her own freaking grandchild while they were trying to grow inside you, or how she can make amends to get access, she just expects it. She just wants to know when she can come over and snatch your child from you.
I would not say a word. She more than earned this silence, and she would be damn lucky to even know when the child is born at this point. She has earned nothing, so she gets nothing. Those are the consequences of her actions, and she can die mad about it.
Don’t respond ☺️ A heartfelt what? apology? Nope, I didnt see one. This lady wants to play the role of grandma and that’s the only reason she is in touch. It really is ridiculous and something your husband can handle whilst you don’t give it another thought.
She just wants access to your child .
Continue being a black hole. No response from you at all. And if your SO chooses to open communication back up with her, she gets no info about you or your pregnancy.
Translation: I’ve realized I’ve got to get back into your good graces before the baby is born, even without an apology, acknowledge or any genuine attempt to repair things between us. Please just let me have a free pass to my grandchild.
Eh. You don’t owe anyone forgiveness or to even acknowledge the text. Actions usually speak louder than words but she’s put little effort in to either. She has barely humbled herself to even ask how you’re feeling while pregnant or make it about anything but HER excitement towards the baby.
Sucks when people don’t see you beyond you being pregnant and “giving” them a baby in their life.
That’s not heartfelt. That’s convenient timing guilt bait.
Not overreacting, and it’s fairly obvious she only wants to “reach out” because she wants to get her hands on the new baby.
Ignore her. If your husband asks “A two dozen word missive thrown together at damn near midnight doesn’t mean anything, not even if one of the words was ‘heartfelt’. Your mother doesn’t give a fig about me, but she thinks that drivel will be enough to get her near the baby. She’s wrong.”
Nah, man, you ain’t overreacting. Sounds sus af. She’s been MIA for months then outta nowhere hits you up late night like nothing happened? Nah, that ain’t right. Do what’s best for you and your growing fam, and if that means leaving her on read, so be it. Good vibes only for you and your lil’ one.