My (24 F) fiance 25 M) have been dating for a few years now, we were arguing today bc I thought he was moving too slow to get inside the car
for context: people robbed our next door neighbors house (it was 5 men) and since que leave my car on our driveway, we have to hurry on up, my nephew was staying w my grandma in our house, that’s why I hurried him up
I told him if he could please be a bit faster bc of the whole breaking in situation, he got defensive and said that he already was inside (not true) one thing lead to another and we started arguing, he always tells me to just say “i’m sorry” and move on, I did the same thing, he was dead set on not doing it, he walked away from me and I grabbed his backpack to get him to stay (he just up and left) he then proceeded to grab my wrist and twist it, it’s all swollen and red, it really hurts
Idk what happened, he has grabbed my hand or wrist before, but this has me hurting really bad, idk what to do, I pushed him off of me but I can’t withstand the emotional and physical hurt
Sorry if this is all over the place as it just happened and I feel like I am rambling, he’s barely ever physical and a great guy, but idk what to do rn
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Your post was a bit jumbled and hard to follow. A revision or edit would be helpful.
However, on thing stood out that I was able to grasp is this statement, “He’s barely ever physical”.
Are you saying he’s been physical in a non loving way in the past?
He intentionally hurt you. Yes, it’s over.
“Grabbed his backpack to get him to stay.” You shouldn’t have done that and he shouldn’t have grabbed you. When arguing, everyone should keep their hands to themselves.
I’m not sure of his past interactions, but this isn’t a good sign.
I’m really sorry you went through this, I know it can be unsettling to go through situations like this and I think it’s good for you to take some space from your partner and focus on self care while things settle down. Is there somewhere else you can stay for the night so you have time to do that?
Here’s my honest opinion though, it sounds like you are in a pretty toxic relationship, one where you both aren’t able to resolve conflict healthily. I urge you to take a long hard look at your relationship and what you want your life to be like. If you can leave now it will be so much easier than if you were to do it after marriage/kids. If you were to have kids would you want them to witness that happening to you? Physical abuse escalates after marriage and kids, and I doubt this is the first time his behavior has scared you. Above all your peace and safety is priority number one. While you probably shouldn’t have tried to grab his backpack and prevent him from leaving it doesn’t give him any reason to use excessive force and hurt you. This sounds like an abusive relationship, and there are lots of good resources online and domestic violence hotlines that you can contact for more information and help.
For real though you are so young, you have so much time so much life and love left in you, you shouldn’t be giving it to someone who is fine with hurting you. Instead of sticking around and waiting for him to change or apologize this is that moment where you can decide enough is enough. It is not selfish to choose yourself. I am sending you strength and love to make the right decision. Everything’s gonna work out I promise ❤️
is it the end? YES. It’s only a matter of time before he does something far worse