Yeah it’s not ideal. Let me give you the breakdown. I met this girl months ago through my brother. I know that they’ve been friends since elementary but I had just never met her before. Now Ive been planning to move in with them as their third roommate. We got to know each other very well as friends over the summer. I’ve hung out with them almost every weekend. We have gone to a music festival together (with my brother and another one of his friends) and ended up doing shrooms.
We obviously connected very well that weekend, I started to catch feelings but I was very sure that I was not going to tell a soul or act on it whatsoever because I have been cheated on before and it sucks! She treats me unlike anybody else, around her I feel like somebody is trying to have a genuine connection. She makes me feel human I guess.
I stayed quiet for like 3 weeks, over those we hung out. Threw a birthday party for my brother, then the next weekend was mine. My brother was out of town on a work trip so we decided to celebrate the weekend after that (last Friday)
We were out at the club, it was late (like 12:30 at the earliest) and it was loud. I was probably five drinks deep at this point, when she randomly tapped me on the shoulder while I was at the bar and said “I need to tell you something. I have a crush on you”
I was taken aback, I thought I heard her wrong or that I was drunk I don’t know. I asked her to repeat, she said the same words but then added “but I have a boyfriend”
Now for some backstory on the boyfriend. She never brings him to hang out with our friend groups. Every time he comes to their house she gets visibly irritated and it’s apparently been a known thing to alex and her closer friends that she has been wanting to break up with him. He tends to be really disrespectful of her hobbies and just her to be honest. For example, we were all hanging out in the kitchen when she came downstairs to show us some things she had crocheted. He started laughing and pointed at me to laugh along with him?? Idk just felt weird. Continuing
It took me a few seconds to respond, I had to think lmfao. The conversation went a little like this – “honestly I feel the same way, but I am not going to interfere on your relationship.” -me
“And I wouldn’t let you do that… but if we were dating and this situation were to happen, you wouldn’t be happy”-her
“Yeah you’re probably right, but let’s talk about this later where it’s more quiet”
Around 30 minutes later we went to another bar with my brother, we separated from him after they went into the bathroom together (he’s gay) for like 15 minutes while I caught up w some old HS friends. We went out onto the patio, she immediately went in about how she feels seen by me. She made a couple really specific points like how I always wait for her if we’re walking in a group or me showing interest in her hobbies. She mentioned how her boyfriend makes her feel bad about the things that she likes to do, that he doesn’t respect her or treat her well. She even said “I think you would treat me much better” she then went on to tell me that our entire friend group knows how she feels about me, including my brother.
About then is when my brother stumbles out, and the first words that come out of his mouth are “yeah you need to break up with him” I hope I didn’t laugh because I know I did on the inside that was fucking hilarious. Then for the next 45 minutes we talked about her situation. She eventually told me she was going to Mexico with him in October because she already paid for it so they won’t be breaking up til then. She also said she doesn’t want to promise me anything. Which yeah, makes complete sense.
She asked one of my close friends earlier in the night if she should let me know how she feels. My friend said yes, under the assumption she was gonna break up with her boyfriend LMFAOO DUDE I didn’t need to know this yet omfg
After the bar, we went back to their house and my brother instantly passed out. We ended ubering to my house to pick up liquor and kush since it was past 2 AM, and then the uber took us back to their house. (Funny story) The uber pulled into the wrong house so we said it was the one next door and we could just walk, THIS GUY DRIVES ON THE SIDEWALK ALL THE WAY TO THE HOUSE LMFAOO right as that happened the pizza we ordered came, and a cop drove by. All within 15 seconds of getting dropped off. Uber sped off once he saw the cop and then the cop turned around and asked of the guy was drunk, we said he’s our uber lmfao.
Regardless, we stayed up until seven in the morning singing songs and playing card games to get to know each other. It was such a fun night.
Next day, bars again. I meet them once I got off work, and a few minutes after I got there she was talking to one of our mutual friends. Another one of our friends came up to me and said “go get your girl!!” LIKE NO that is NOT my girl and this CANNOT be a known thing !!! I wasn’t gonna tell anybody and know my whole group knows my feelings 💀💀
Her and I ended up dancing together (in front of each other not like touching) until bar close and then we went back to their house again. We were singing more songs and just having a great time. Eventually four in the morning rolls around, and there’s a random knock at the door. We all freaked out, but I checked the door and it was her boyfriend. He randomly showed up at their house at 4 AM.
She was visibly annoyed. At one point she went outside and asked for help to kill a spider, and her boyfriend didn’t move or say anything. So I said “are we going out there?” He said “you got it!” Lmfao alright I guess???? I go and we don’t even kill it, she just says “have you noticed?” And I did. He’s an ass.
Eventually we’re all talking and last night gets brought up, she mentions to him that her and I stayed up until seven in the morning together. Idk maybe don’t do that while I’m right there I CANT FIGHT this guy is huge he could beat my ass lmfao. I was like yeahh I got so drunk I just passed out on the couch. SO HE KNOWS I DIDNT SLEEP W HER. oh guess what. My brain tweaked and I basically said “I just passed out on the b-couch” oh my GOD
he took her to the kitchen immediately and they were arguing for like 5 mins, then she poked her head out the door and said “I guess I’m going to bed now?” And he laughed and said “laaame” as if he didn’t make her bahahaha.
That was VERY uncomfortable for me, good lord. Then it’s just days of me tweaking like why did she tell me if I can’t do ANYTHING with this information until October?? And that’s IF they break up.
Fast forward to Tuesday, I texted her asking for her playlist she was listening to that weekend. She was just DJing on the spot straight bangers for hours 😭 music is my love language by the way. This woman then texted me a few hours later with a 12 hour playlist and then texted me the names of 25 different artists she wants me to listen to. SHES TRYING TO MAKE ME FALL IN LOVE I SWEAR WHAT IS HAPPENING??
I now cannot move in there, I can’t live with someone that I know I like, and I guess I know likes me ??!? I really want to wait for this, she’s the most incredible, genuine person that I’ve ever met.
I don’t think I can say I want them to break up. That’s not right, even if it is what I crave. But I’m not gonna try to force anything yk? Idk let me know I feel like I should pretend like my life is the same as it was one week ago but with a slight living situation detour LMFAO
Comments
Lmao bro, you’re living in a sitcom fr! But srsly, stuff’s mad complicated rn, I get it, but always remember, life’s too short for ‘what ifs’. Just stay tru to urself and let the universe do its thing. Maybe shed some of that baggage too, no need to carry that around like a 2-for-1 special. Peace out, man. Be strong and let that playlist drop fire tunes, not tears.
Bruh, don’t dip your heart in roomie soup no matter how tasty it looks, it’s a one-way ticket to dramatown. Give it time, if it’s real, it’ll simmer on its own without u stirring the pot. Life’s about timing, and sounds like y’all’s clocks are set diff rn. Hang in there. ✊🍻
I didn’t read it. Just remember you lose them how you get them.
If she really wanted you she would break up with her bf, that being said, she might only like you because she doesn’t like him and you’re paying the kind of attention she wants. It sounds like drama. Don’t get fixated on her if she’s with someone else and you miss other opportunities because you’re wasting your emotional energy where it’s just dumping into a void.
That’s a lot of words to explain how you’re getting mixed up with a girl who is looking for an excuse not to cheat. She’ll do the same thing to you one day.
There was zero reason to read anything past your title. Just walk away.
She’s such a genuine person, huh? So genuine that she’s trying to pursue things with you while keeping the boyfriend. Uh-huh. This shows SO MUCH about her.
Keep in mind that this is who she is. If you end up in a relationship with her, know that she will do the same to you as she is doing to her boyfriend. She is currently emotionally cheating with you. Just because there hasn’t been PIV yet, that doesn’t mean it isn’t an affair. The “oh– but I’ve already paid for Mexico in October” is a BS excuse. She is incredibly dishonest to him. Yes, he treats her like dirt, but her behavior is what you should be looking at.
You’d do well to actually put some distance between you and her. She is not available, and is apparently the kind of person who is perfectly happy to sleep with her boyfriend and keep telling him she loves him while pursuing someone else.
Don’t date roommates.
Have fun.
Let it run its course naturally.
Good on you for not involving yourself in their relationship. But it’s going to happen soon.