6 weeks ago my wife (36) and I (38) moved across the country with our son (5) to live in my late grandma’s old house that we inherited. We’re from Seattle and moved to a town in Texas and honestly my wife and I fucking hate living here, but it’s financially better for us for the time being, plus honestly I am attached to my grandma’s house.
I have a lot of tattoos, long hair, just a general look that really isn’t common here but was totally normal in Seattle. I’ve gotten a lot of looks and some shit from people here, which I don’t really give a fuck about, but suffice it to say my appearance doesn’t fit in.
So far my wife had been the one picking our son up and dropping him off at school/daycare because my work schedule was all fucked up, but I’ve settled into the same hours she works so now we’re picking our son up and dropping him off together.
I met our son’s teacher (~late 20’sF) earlier today and I could just tell she was uncomfortable with my appearance from the jump. My wife and I talked to her for a bit about how our son was adjusting to the new school. After talking about that for a bit his teacher asked me to cover up my tattoos (which would basically require covering up all of my skin below the neck) when I come pick him up and drop him off because it was off-putting and apparently tattoos are against the school dress code.
I said no. I was clothed (tank top and shorts) and I’m not a student, so I said I wasn’t under their dress code. Besides, none of my tattoos that are visible when I’m clothed to any degree can be considered offensive unless you find the very idea of tattoos offensive. She insisted, which irritated me and my wife, and basically we just told her that I wasn’t going to change how I dress and wasn’t going to stop picking up my kid, so she and anyone else who had a problem would have to just deal with it.
My wife and I think this is totally fucking ridiculous, but my mom (whom I called earlier today) said I should just go with it and that I’m being a pain in the ass.
Comments
NTA
You are in Texas. Judgmental, narrow minded bigots proliferate.
If it’s a daycare and you are paying money, I would go somewhere else. Fuck them. If it’s a public school, I would tell them to kick rocks. Fuck them too
tatted family man
NTA.
tell them to s your d and to go police someone else’s appearance.
“Sounds like you problem, lady. I sure hope you’re not so small minded to hold my appearance against my kid”
Sheesh!!! Im a covered in tatts canadian chick and i find this just plain ignorant!
NTA
Going from Seattle to TX… oof, I’m sorry man.
I personally am not a fan of tattoos, but you know what, it’s none of their business how you look. You don’t work there and you aren’t a student. I can’t believe she had the nerve to ask you to cover up. People have tattoos, people have piercings, people have purple hair, whatever. It’s your business, not theirs.
I wonder if people in wheelchairs, or someone with a deformity is also off-putting. I wonder what she would do then. Tell her to mind her own damn business.
This is why Texas has a reputation for being over religious, judgmental jackasses. I would never live there, and I have relatives there.
NTA.
but….I would keep tabs on what’s going on in school with your kid. Will she treat your kid differently simply because you’re not playing ball?
But yeah, fuck em.
She’s the problem, not you.
There is absolutely no reason you should be required to cover up. The only thing you MIGHT want to consider is how it will affect your kid. Kids can get picked on because of their parents.
NTA.
You don’t attend the school. The dress code doesn’t apply to you.
Must live in BFE. Most major cities in Texas won’t bat an eye at tatted up folks
As an educator in Texas, this is ridiculous. That said, some schools have weird dress code rules for parents like no pajamas, no house shoes, no curlers. But requiring long pants and sleeves?!!! I would address this with her admin. And the superintendent if necessary. Because she is way out of line.
You can do what you want , your mom
Is thinking of your son . People can take out there pre judging opinions on your son
Nta and your mom is wrong. They are judgemental AHs.
Must be a small ass town. Im in Texas and you have plenty of ppl with tats here.
NTA
She was totally out of line and I’m surprised such a young teacher would be the one to have a problem with it..
Crazy.
NTA. Some people are so weird about tattoos. It’s one thing to dislike tattoos yet another to try to control what other people do,
Welcome to Texas!
Yeah fuck that and fuck them
No need to change but you might consider if the other parents will not let their kids play with your kid. Not saying thats right just saying you need to think of your kid when deciding where to draw the line
Get another tattoo that says “Fuck Texas”
It may be possible to shut them up if you said, “1st amendment. Freedom of speech!” I’m sure they’ll love that thrown back in their face.
Sure, you can open carry but my tattoos are scary. Okay?!
This is so scary. I live in a high cost area and have considered Texas since we have family there but the culture is so different there. I would probably consider moving my kid from the school. His teacher is extremely biased and slightly insane if she expects you to cover up tattoos to pick up your child. It is really very scary people this bigoted are teaching our kids. If this is how she feels about tattoos I wonder what she thinks of people that ride motorcycles, are a different race, different religion, different serial orientation. . .people who are this judgemental towards people who are not their clone should not be influencing young minds.
NTA ….. But it depends what part of the neighborhood the school is in. Social rules, make or break your success in some parts of the nation.
I see plenty of people from Texas with tattoos, so this teacher is way overreacting. You are an adult, you do not have to comply with her inane requests.
I live in SE Texas and have plenty of visible tattoos. Never had anyone say anything less than complimentary. Sounds like she’s a judgemental twit and thinks tattoos are bad. I’m also a substitute teacher so when I’m working my tattoos do have to be covered because I must pass dress code as an employee. Parents are not subject to it and she needs to learn to deal with her discomfort and bias if she’s going to live in the real world. I’m sorry she’s teaching children!
Sounds like it’s time to get some more tattoos.
NTA but the post sounds like an American tourist visiting another country and acting like the country you’re visiting is the problem. For you’re own sake don’t be confrontational with women in a Texas. Don’t raise your voice don’t act aggressive nothing, everyone has guns in Texas.
Since when is it ok for schools to police people on tattoos? I get some clothing like if certain body parts are falling out, but tattoos??? Pretty sure the no tattoo rule is for the students, not their parents. NTA
Fuck her. NOT THE AH
NTA. She shouldn’t have shit to say about your tats and you should probably make a complaint.
No idea what town ur in but in Amarillo literally nobody cares. Every man I work with is tatted. Many heavily tatted.
NTA but For you’re own sake don’t be confrontational with women in a Texas. Don’t raise your voice don’t act aggressive nothing, everyone has guns in Texas.
NTA. Do you, boo. They’ll get used to it.
Ahhh. North Dallas/East Texas?
NTA. They just need to stop being so judgmental. As the saying goes: never judge a book by looking at it’s cover.
While I’m totally on board with you doing you (also, what part of Texas do you live where long hair is a problem? 😅), it might be worthwhile to consider the fact that if you’re in a community that overtly judges you, that same community could also prejudge your kid(s) based on that. It’s not okay, but it’s likely. 😬
” I’m going to need that request in email form please”
That ought to shut her up
Wow. They need to deal with it.
Whilst you should absolutely continue wearing your normal gear, I would recommend you approach them everyday with kindness and respect. They have pre-conceived ideas about what type of person you are, and the best thing you could ever do is prove them wrong and show them how long hair and tattoos have nothing to do with the measure of a man.
Must be a small town. Here in San Antonio, people wouldn’t look twice.
With all due respect, you’ll exhaust yourself trying to fight the culture.
Don’t wear sleeve and pants because its dumb. But you will be treated badly and perhaps even your son.
And at best your son will start becoming prejudiced as he is influenced by all the yokels.
I work at a public school and saw and HEAVILY tattooed man there to pick up his kids. I smiled and waved as I do every parent. NTA I would consider wearing an absurdly positive tee or tank when picking up but she needs to do her job which is care for and educate children, not judge adults on ink. Unless you have like hate tattoos, gore or overt nudity I don’t see any reason to cover them…
I truly dislike Texas. Deeply
Texas sounds like an absolute shit hole. Not once have I ever heard a good thing about Texas.
NTA.
As long as you’re decently covered, you’re fine. The school has no right to police how you’re dressing. As you stated, you don’t go to school there.
If it continues being a thing, I’d go to admin and let them know they need to stay in their lane.
The teacher is being ridiculous, and a control freak. Ignore her. Bring it up with the principal if she harrasses you again.
If this is a private business, they have a right to refuse service for any reason, as long as that refusal isn’t based on being in a protected class. Tattoos aren’t protected. They can set a dress code for clients and visitors to their property. That said you also have the right to take your business elsewhere if you don’t agree.
Things get a little trickier if this is a public building, but generally speaking public facilities are also allowed to implement a code of conduct as long as it applies equally to everyone. For example, you wouldn’t find it strange for a courthouse to have a dress code, and you wouldn’t find it strange for the judge to hold you in contempt if you didn’t dress appropriately.
Unless you are the only person being required to cover your tattoos, I don’t think you should feel offended. You don’t have to like the rule in order to respect it. If you see others with visible tattoos in the same setting, then I think you would have a valid complaint.
You do you! You’ll set a good example for any of the kids who are feeling stifled by “traditional Texas values.”
Imagine potentially harming your sons social life just because you dont want to show a modicum of modesty.
Not saying your point is wrong p, but will your child be singled out and picked on because of this?
Pull a Randy Marsh and show up in a crop top
Yea Op NTA this is a personal problem and they’ll just have to effing deal. You and your wife are 100% right for telling them to fuck off
I’m a heavily tattooed woman. I work a professional job now. I used to be a heavily tattooed woman taking care of people’s kids at a daycare in a town decidedly not tattooed for the most part. People get used to you. Don’t hide it. I go to things for my friends kids at the school all the time here. I participate in things with the kids of pearl clutchers too. I actually had one mom come and quietly thank me for including her child and teaching her child it’s OK to be different too.
Be yourself. It’s fine
NTA. Her prejudices are her problem.
They’re being ridiculous, of course.
Whereabouts in Texas is this? I grew up in Texas, lived in WA for several years because fuck this state, but circumstances moved me back. I live in a relatively small, very conservative area, and have blue hair, lots of visible piercings, and am covered in tattoos. I go to all my kids functions and also just exist in this area, and I’ve never had any issues. I get a stupid comment or a side eye every now and then, but nothing so blatant. But obviously NTA. You’re not a student so you aren’t breaking dress code. If the teacher herself is uncomfortable, oh well, sucks to suck.
What district are you even in? It must be in the bible-belt areas because I (as a tattooed, colored hair mom) have been complemented on mine. My husband doesn’t have tattoos but his hair is longer than mine. Several of my daughters recent teachers have even had tatts and facial piercings too. That’s Plano, by the way.
You don’t like Texas… why not sell the house and go to a blue state?
There’s a ton of tattoo studios in Texas. I really, really, really find HER opinion of how a parent should dress in a public school a little difficult to get down. I just looked it up…1893 shops.
The nerve of that teacher. Tell her that her face is very off putting and could she cover that up.
NTA – you are entitled to dress and be as you wish. However, your son may get teased for it. I normally say stand up and be different, be who you are – but your son is young. Just something to think about. TX is a world away from Seattle.
There are 2 ways to look at this – and if you see it as an authoritarian teacher trying to crack a whip – then … Hell No!
But it could be a teacher type telling you that wearing regular pants and shirts will make it easier for you to fit in – and you’ll have a better overall parent experience.
And sometimes when you’re new, there is value in fitting in on the surface, as people seem to appreciate diversity more after some common ground is established.
Former Texas resident who moved there from Seattle. Hated it so much. And I moved back 8 years ago. I can’t even imagine how bad it is now.
Oh wait I can. Like all of us, I watched the Uvalde coverage. That is Texas in a nutshell. Just commiserating with you.
Oh… and definitely not an asshole. Someone there is itching for a fight. GL
Been all over Texas many many times. From Lubbock to Austin to Longview to McGregor and Waco and everywhere in-between. I have never been in an area where I did not see long haired tatted men and women.
This one is hard to believe from my experience.
NTA anyway, even though I’m not sure I believe it.
But just to add, I would NEVER live in Texas. I don’t care how many people are moving there. I was recruited to play FB at three universities there but only visited one. That was enough for me to know there was no fucking way I would live there.
I suggest you sell the place and move back or at least to Colorado.
As a former teacher, if you are just there to pick up your kid and involved with parenting them, U would not give a fuck about your aesthetics. NTA
You need to get the fuck out of Texas. Your kid will never get this time back. If they treat an adult like this just imagine how they will treat your kids. You’re exposing your kids to people like this because of some attachment you have to a house.
As a Texan with tattoos, I apologize for the lack of respect given to you from that “teacher”. There are some cases where I cover my visible tats; primarily in a work environment. Yes, there is still a stigma about them, and a part of me gets it. Another part of me feels sorry for the people that judge me for having some ink. It really sounds like it’s a her problem and I would address her supervisor.
And for all of you bigoted folks that talk trash about Texas…Some folks all over this country have eyeballed my tats when I travel, so it’s not just Texas. Get over yourself.
I call bullshit. I’m a teacher in Texas and we have both parents and staff with visible tattoos.
The school’s dress code is for the students.
It’s not even for the teachers. I’ve never seen a teacher / admin dress code. As an adult, you’re supposed to know how to dress for the job.
So if the school dress code isn’t even for the people who work there, it’s sure as hell not for the parents.
I’d challenge her on this. Ask her you want to see the written dress code for parental pick-up. If she tries to show you the school dress code point out that it’s for the students.
NTA
You could always just sell the house you inherited and move back to lala land. But the teacher has no standing to boss your attire for child pickup, unless there are printed documents outlining parental dress code, which could n should be challenged in court.
I have no tattoos and I’m offended by that teacher. Don’t you dare cover up! If she doesn’t like it, she doesn’t have to look.
Plenty of moms pick up their kiddos in tank tops and tight leggings at mu kids elementary in texas. You should be able to wear where you want. NTA.
As a teacher you are NTA. I had a highly professional conference with a dad who had a naked woman with full anatomy on my forearm right there for us all to see… she needs to stop enforcing her values on you.
I have face tattoos neck etc… I would tell her absolutely not like what? They’re just tattoos ffs.
NTA I wouldn’t do it. That sounds like a her problem
You don’t want advice. You want support for your position. No one can give a meaningful response based on one side of the story.
What is this, the 50s? Who’s weirded out by tattoos in 2025?
I’m curious do you have any over the top tattoos that a lot of people would find offensive? i .e. “F God” a swastika, pictures of people being killed,etc? I’m asking because maybe there is something she finds very offensive and doesn’t want to say that, so instead she made up this rule.
Where in Texas? A small town? I live in Texas and I see tattoos everywhere. Nobody makes a big deal about it, and I live in a conservative suburb.
This is not normal. As a former teacher, I would never treat a parent that way. Over normal tattoos? Insane.
If it was a T-shirt with someone in a sexual position I could see getting upset. Normal tattoos? Come on!
Im glad you stood your ground with her never back down
NTA the difference between Texas and the Seattle area is amazing. Multiple teachers that my kids have had have visible tattoos and multi colored hair in the Seattle area. In Texas I had a teacher call CPS on me because I didn’t take her diagnosis of ADHD in my second child seriously.
Here’s how the conversation should go, OP:
“Cover your tattoos, please.”
“Fuck you. Don’t like it? Call a cop.”
Seriously, like, what are the cops gonna say? And if they keep telling you this shit, Sue them for harassment.
What hole in the wall in Texas are you in? I’ve lived in Texas since ’83 and and tatts are just more and more and more normal.
Seriously, I’ve lived in Houston, outside San Antonio and currently north of DFW. Hubby has family in East Texas (think Boomhauer from King of the Hill), everyone has tatts.
NTA in the least for the clothes.
I feel your pain. NTA. This is not indicative of all of Texas, but it’s becoming unbearable to live here. And welcome!