AITAH for breaking up with my gf because she is friends with the guy she chose over me?

r/

So let me clear the title.

I met my now ex about a year ago. When we first got together together, she had this friend, let’s call him Josh.

Now, at that point in time, I figured Josh was just a friend she had, which is somewhat true.

What I found out recently is that she was dating Josh while dating me. I didn’t like that, but the kicker? It turns out my now ex wanted something long-term with Josh, but Josh didn’t, so she chose me and never told me this.

After finding out, I broke up with her. She told me she’s sorry she never told me and that she’s glad she’s not with Josh, but honestly, I have never felt more like a second choice in my life, because that’s exactly what I am.

Hearing my now ex cry did make me feel guilty, though, so that’s why I’m posting this here.

Comments

  1. Artistic-Tough-7764 Avatar

    NTA – if you don’t want to be second fiddle, the tears of your ex should not sway you to accepting that role

  2. Femboy_konnoisseur Avatar

    HAHAHHAH good. Bro if you think you’re in the wrong you’re clearly high off something

  3. TSOTL1991 Avatar

    NTA. There is always someone waiting in the dugout.

    If Josh hadn’t dumped her, she would still be with him. Guaranteed.

  4. Own-Writing-3687 Avatar

    She’s not crying for hurting you.

     She’s crying because she got caught being a jackass. 

  5. VegetableBusiness897 Avatar

    No one wants to be the stand in

  6. MyDirtyAlt79 Avatar

    Damn, if she was glad she wasn’t with Josh, then Josh would have no longer been around.

    You weren’t even second place. You were a placeholder.

    NTA, and thank whoever filled you in.

  7. lostarrow-333 Avatar

    Ntah. She lied. How could you trust her. For all you know they could be meeting up behind your back. Nah. Screw her. She kinda got what she deserves.

    Tears are weapons for women brother. Keep in mind that almost every woman can make herself cry any time she wants. Either way bro. You did the right thing. You have self respect. Ggs

  8. Such_Gear_6752 Avatar

    Create a fake email pretending to be Josh and ask her out as Josh to see if she still wants him or if she’s fallen for you and over him. Don’t be too charming because that could bring out parts of both of your personalities that the other has never seen and you may fall in love as these other people. That’s where things get complicated, does she still have feelings for Josh or is it your new found confidence and online charm that she’s now fallen for? Maybe if you’d acted like this fake online personality you’ve developed in the first place we wouldn’t be in this mess

  9. GettingToo Avatar

    You did the right thing! If or when Josh decides he wants a serious relationship you would be yesterday’s new. Pretty shitty of her to be dating you both without telling you in the first place.

  10. Electric_Emu_420 Avatar

    YTA for making me read such poor creative writing.

  11. Careless_Welder_4048 Avatar

    NTA. I love when people stand on business.

  12. DASHRIPROCK1969 Avatar

    Ignore most of the suggestions on here! There’s only ONE perfect solution: Get your ass in gear and go see Josh! Tell him that he’s the one you truly love – hell, maybe even blow him – and get married and live happily ever after!

  13. Moist-Release-9227 Avatar

    Yta for the fake post.

  14. stiggley Avatar

    NTA OP and Josh are similar in so many ways. Both dated the same girl at the same time. Both decided she wasn’t the one for them.

  15. Financial_Weekend_73 Avatar

    Respect yourself… she for the streets

  16. bobp929 Avatar

    NTA

    She’s only crying g because she’s trying to keep you around as an option…..again. Block her on everything and move on. She ain’t the one

  17. StrongCulture9494 Avatar

    If she choses him now, its only going to get worse.
    There is equilateral in any dynamic.

    Make sure you stand for yours.

  18. Kisses4Kimmy Avatar

    How would that even come out? That’s crazy.

  19. GodzillaUK Avatar

    Honestly sometimes it’s better to feel alone than to feel second fiddle. And her crying is just regret she got caught, fuck her and enjoy life without a piece of crap like that.

  20. TwoBionicknees Avatar

    Nah, fuck her. get tested, if she calls you crying just straight up call her a cheating ho who you could never be with and Josh also understand she’s a tramp and not who she wants to be with, quit the crocodile tears and go find some new people to cheat on.