I think my parents are getting divorced and I’m confused

So I heard my parents yelling at each other and got snippets of it. Stuff like “I’m always walking on eggshells around this family” “I don’t know what’s right anymore” “I believe in my opinion” “I’m sorry I know I believed false information” etc. I don’t really know what started it but from what my brother said it included a car accident that happened recently with my mom (not anything bad just a fender bender) and she was freaking out because it was her first time ever directly causing an accident. I’m assuming she got some wrong info about car accidents and thought something bad would happen? I don’t really know, I don’t get told much in the family.

With the “I believe my opinion” part, my mom is a conservative and very firm in her beliefs despite saying she’s willing to hear the other side, (it just doesn’t really feel like it) and I’m guessing something came up about politics cause she said “I’ve heard people lie from both sides” and my dad doesn’t really vote for a specific side, just whoever he agrees with or think will make America better. This was a little after my brother texted me saying “mom and dad are fighting rn” (we’re in the room right next to them) and I took off my headphones and heard all that. But then I moved a bit closer to hear over my laptop fans and we heard the bombshell of “I’m glad we’re getting a divorce.” I was in shock and I think I’m coping right now because I keep brushing it off. And we both hoped it was just a spur of the moment thing but then I got a text from her after the argument saying this:

A little. When I told him that it had been years since he wanted, needed or cared about me. That i realized I could live without him, he shut down. I’ll tell you more tomorrow. I’ll call you.

And then immediately after saying “wrong person.” I don’t think she was just lashing out anymore and I don’t what to do. She’s always been a bit of a toxic parent and I feel I can’t really be myself but I also feel guilty for not feeling too bad about it. I also guess I should’ve seen it coming because when I was around five I remember my dad (who never yells by the way) yelling something at Mom and heading to their shared bedroom and Mom sat down leaning on the pantry door crying before I came up and hugged her. I feel like there’s always been a bit of a “don’t mention anything” rule in my family because arguments and differing opinions is easy to get mad about. Also recently I’ve gotten into arguments with her, my brother has, and stuff I’m guessing has been hectic at work (her company just merged with another one in a different city), and we lost two dogs in the span of two or three years, one of which we had since before I was born.

JI just feel numb, but it also always happens whenever something major happens. I feel a bit of emotion, shut down, then it hits me when I’m alone.

For living arrangements, the house we all stay in is under my dad’s name and I don’t see why Mom would want it anyways, she’s complained about it being too big when we first moved in, and we do have grandparents to stay with if things get messy, which, knowing my parents probably won’t. And me and my brother are both old enough to choose who to stay with. But I don’t wanna have to choose, I love both of them, and I don’t want to make my mom feel more worthless for choosing my dad over her. But she also is ruining my mental health, she literally caused a panic attack which I haven’t had one that bad in years, and then kept yelling at me to stop crying even when I begged her to let me leave the room (I eventually did).

Is this me being insane and attached to someone I shouldn’t be? Does anyone old enough to understand any of this have any ideas on whats happening? What do I do? She doesn’t know I know everything. Do I just act normal?

They’ve always been so happy but her text just made it feel like my whole life was a lie. I don’t know what to do anymore. My parents have almost never argued, they go out on dates and anniversaries, and stuff and a whole back the asked me and my brother to go stay at our grandparents for a bit (they live just down the road). We came back and I assumed it was so they could have an intimate moment without us being there, but maybe it was another argument? I’m just lost and need advice and comfort right now. I don’t want to bother either of them.

Also sorry if the post jumps around a lot, I’m just thinking of everything that could have led up to this and any info that might help.