It’s been 6 months since I’ve known this girl from my college. I’m a 3rd-year undergrad student and she’s a research scholar in my department. She was assigned to me as a mentor to guide me through a project I had last semester. Initially, I didn’t really feel anything for her, just admired her a lot for being there and genuinely helping me, without treating it as just a job imposed on her. She never made me feel the senior–junior hierarchy and treated me as an equal, as a friend. To be honest, for the first time in 2 years of college, I felt seen and heard.
Apart from the project, we had a few brief conversations that helped me connect with her on a deeper level, and eventually I started falling for her. She was the only person I felt I could be completely honest with about whatever I felt.
After the completion of my project, she contacted me after a month or so, asking if I was interested in some other projects and research papers, and I agreed because why not? I loved spending time with her, I loved hearing her voice. Whenever our paths crossed on campus, her face would light up, smiling in the sweetest way possible while looking at me. I couldn’t help but smile back, the kind of smile that doesn’t take any effort and just happens naturally. We had moments where we looked into each other’s eyes, almost like staring into each other’s souls, without saying a word, just smiling.
Now I know what you guys must be thinking, it’s just a plain crush, move on, she doesn’t see you that way, she was just being kind and nice, etc etc. I know she might think I’m too young and emotionally immature for her, and that she can’t possibly expect anything meaningful from me. And it’s natural for her to think that way. I just don’t want to ruin something good because of something that was never meant to be. Still, I think she likes me, because of those unusually long eye contacts we had. And one thing about me, I’m quite expressive, I can’t really hide my emotions, they show up on my face.
Even if I confess, I don’t want to put any kind of pressure on her. I’d accept whatever her decision is gracefully. I’m just scared, what if she breaks all contact with me after that? I don’t want to lose her as a friend, as a mentor, the only person in campus I can really connect with.
So dear fellow redditors, please advise me, how should I proceed with this?
Comments
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Dude, I feel ya. This ain’t just a crush. Got some real feels here, huh? And tbh, these aren’t “lol, high school” feels either. But look, no fortune telling here and as scary as it is, only way to know for sure is if you tell her. Pro tip: just be casual and sincere. Don’t go in expecting fairy tales or heartaches. She’s been real with you, be real back. At worst, you may feel awkward for a bit but still friends. It’s a risk but, hey, no guts, no glory right? Good luck, bud!
There is no advice for controlling the outcome of situations. You have to pick a lane.
Don’t confess like some romantic comedy or anime. Just ask her on a date. When you ask her out use the word “date” so your intentions are clear.
You might be rejected and she might not want to be friends. This is reality and you can’t avoid it. There’s no magical way to garentee anything. Its worth it to try so you at least know you gave it your all, and she sounds interested.
A declaration will force her to choose. That means your working relationship may become untenable either way