Life sucks

I’m a 28 year old woman, and my bf is 27. We’ve been together for 2 years, and ngl the last year has been hell. Not because of him, or me, just life beating us down. My bf was diagnosed with AML in july of 2024, which is a type of blood cancer. After a month of him being sick on and off with fevers, he went to the dr, which sent us to the hospital. He went to the hospital for treatment and was there for about a month before he was in remission. It was horrible without him. It took everything i had to push through and not fall apart every day.
The drs had him go in to a clinic every 2 weeks to test his blood to keep an eye out for the cancer. He finally got insurance to cover the treatment needed to save his life at the beginning of this year. He needs a stem cell transplant. He would be in the hospital for 2 months recieving more chemo and the transplant, and a 6-9 month recovery period, which he will have to do at his parent’s house cause the dr said he needs a full time caregiver, and i work full time as an RBT.
On febuary 19th, they found the cancer back in his blood, 2 days before his birthday. It was a shitty birthday for him. I called out of work that day to take him to est dinner as an early bday gift and spend time before i dropper him off at the hospital. I am only able to see him on the weekends, and i only go once for about 5 hours cause its expensive. I work sunday-the following friday to make up hours with my clients. Its so draining working that schedule, but we need the money since i’m the only income til my bf gets government assistance, which who knows when that’ll happen since we live in the US.
This time was worst than the first, he had more intense chemo which put a strain on his heart, and he had to be moved to the chardiac ward. He had an allergic reaction to the platlelet transfusion, and now has to have benadryl every time he needs one. His white blood cell, red blood cell, and platelets numbers are starting to come back up, but slowly due to the cancer. Its been hard, cause we live together, along with our 2 cats, and his snake, and without him here, its void of life and joy. Hes my everything and i jate that hes not here. I just needed to vent to a bunch of strangers, if you read all of this, i want to say thanks.