Scenario.
My Wife, kids, in-laws, and sister in law’s family are all away for a long weekend. I couldn’t make it, had to stay at home.
They drove in three separate cars. 4 hour trip to get there.
My father in law appears to have had a minor heart attack. This was late last night, I have not heard anymore from my wife upon waking up this morning.
My potential predicament.
They want me to drive 4 hours in my car, leave it there, drive my in-laws car home with them as passengers, then go back at a later date with my wife to collect my car which for me would be two separate days of driving.
My mother in law can drive, has been for 30+ years, and it’s her car. She would have my father in law as a passenger as a minimum.
I feel this is unnecessary when my mother in law, who maybe doesn’t like driving long distances, should just get on with it for once.
She’s 58 and perfectly capable, it isn’t like she’s an OAP.
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Scenario.
My Wife, kids, in-laws, and sister in law’s family are all away for a long weekend. I couldn’t make it, had to stay at home.
They drove in three separate cars. 4 hour trip to get there.
My father in law appears to have had a minor heart attack. This was late last night, I have not heard anymore from my wife upon waking up this morning.
My potential predicament.
They want me to drive 4 hours in my car, leave it there, drive my in-laws car home with them as passengers, then go back at a later date with my wife to collect my car which for me would be two separate days of driving.
My mother in law can drive, has been for 30+ years, and it’s her car. She would have my father in law as a passenger as a minimum.
I feel this is unnecessary when my mother in law, who maybe doesn’t like driving long distances, should just get on with it for once.
She’s 58 and perfectly capable, it isn’t like she’s an OAP.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> If I refuse to drive, will my family think I am being selfish and potentially lazy not wanting to drive two 8 hour round trips when my mother in law can drive a single 4 hour trip.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA
Have your wife or SIL drive them and then go back with your wife on another day to collect their car
NTA. “That doesn’t work for me. Mil can drive their car or make other arrangements to get it home.” The suspicious side of me wonders if this is made up to get you to do what they want. Where I live any type of heart attack would have you being kept at least 24 hours for observation at a minimum. I find it hard to believe he’s already out of the hospital after a heart attack last night.
Even if I were to give them the benefit of the doubt and pick them up I’d be driving back in my car, not theirs. Again they can make arrangements to go get it, most likely with your wife or sil. There’s no need for you to take 2 days off and be out the use of your car for this. When you do a favor you get to set limits. ‘I’ll drive up and bring them home in my car. They’ll need to get their car home on their own,’ is a reasonable limit.
NTA. Their expectations are unrealistic.
NTA for not going along with this plan.
But you are one for calling a heart attack a ‘minor health scare’. That’s a life-changing event for most people who have to deal with it, either having one themselves or their partner having one.
Your MIL might be rather shaken up by this turn of events, which could mean that she’s not safe to drive such a long distance right now.
You may want to propose a scenario in which it’s not needed to go over there twice, like taking a flight to get there, let them drive back home in one of the other cars and then you and your wife can pick up their car later, etc.
INFO: You haven’t heard from your wife? Why TF haven’t YOU called HER?
Your dislike of and contempt for your in-laws is palpable, but presumably you’re interested in the health/safety/happiness of your wife and kids, who are currently along for the ride for one of the most traumatic events of your FIL’s life, and you’re being *startlingly* blase about it.