I have started using tinder to meet new people. I matched with a guy and we messaged and even had a phone call and hit it off very well. And we decided to meet for dinner.
I have hormonal acne. I wash my face and found a routine that works the best so far. I get it on my jaw and chin. It sucks and it’s painful and I do what I can for it. It’s a side effect of a medication I take. I know I have it and it’s not everyone’s cup of tea.
But in my profile, I had multiple pictures of me on a range of my best days (most of them because I’m most likely to like those pictures) to me with visible acne. I don’t wear makeup or use filters, so I’m not hiding it, just my best pictures might not show it when it’s at its worst.
I also sent the guy real time photos. I was in my good state. Acne was very minimal and not inflamed. We set up a date in a week. And during that time, I had flare up. I didn’t think to mention it. It wasn’t that bad, it was red inflamed spots, but not huge and no white heads.
Well I showed up for the date and within a few minutes he said he couldn’t do it. He said I misrepresented myself even though my photos had the same level of acne in them. He said I should’ve told him. He said I led him on. I don’t think I did, but he went on and on. I’ve never felt this way before.
Is this expected to disclosed when dating?
Comments
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We’d like to take this time to remind users that:
We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors
We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.
Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)
ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.
No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users “friend-zoned”, referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me’s, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.
All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don’t get a free pass.
Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned.
What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, “body counts” or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.
If you have any questions, please message the mods
This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Ok this guy is an asshole and you deserve way better. Pls don’t even think about this man for a second. Or I should say boy
I’m sorry that’s terrible, this guy doesn’t seem like someone you would want to date anyway.
Me and all my siblings were on Roaccutane growing up, it helped with us.
well, dodged a bullet there, lol.
no, you don’t need to disclose your medical shit with anyone you don’t want to. that’s nobody’s business but yours and your doctor.
you had a variety of photos in all sorts of stages, the photos were real and not “touched up”.
it’s his fault for not actually looking at them (or your face in them) if he has a problem with acne.
Oof that’s a thought situation. I it’s the flare up that bothered him. Which sucks and really ain’t your fault.. but as strangers we’re kind of dating on looks first…
Also as strangers, it’s can be hard to give leeway to things that’s throw you off a bit because there’s no rapport built.
If he had meet you before Andrew to know you he most likely wouldn’t mind and would be more forgiving.
Next time I hope you don’t have such bad luck, getting a physical share up right before a date would suck in any senario I’d imagine
best of luck to you
Well, isn’t he just a precious crock of shit…
Listen, you were gorgeous before the date. You were gorgeous during the date. And you will be gorgeous for all the days to follow.
Don’t worry about that scumbag. Just keep being stunning and the rest will fall into place….
xo
That you have skin and it does skin things? He basically made your medical condition about him. And generally, most adults don’t need a PSA that you are a human and will not look exactly like you photos; it’s likely you will be wearing different clothes and your hair won’t be exactly the same.
This reminds me of another post where someone’s boyfriend got mad at her and called her disgusting for farting in bed. Our bodies do things. It gets old and grey eventually. We get sick. We burp and smell. No, you do not have to disclose any of this normal stuff. You dodged a bullet. A good one would not mind one bit how human you are.
Related posts? This guy left his date within 5 minutes after meeting due to her having a different appearance in her photos.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/DHlThRaDuO
Is this really something women have to deal with? I would feel like shit if I got a pimple I didn’t have previously when my tinder profile was made….and then my date walks out because i “misrepresented myself physically.” That’s ridiculous.
My husband and I pop each other’s zits. You definitely dodged a bullet. A person who is worth anything will not shame you for your body doing normal body things.
What does he want? Some alabaster, poreless alien skin? He needs a reality check.
Tf? What a dick. I swear to God social media and photoshop is setting such an unrealistic standard to these men. That’s so disgusting and I’m so sorry that happened to you. You did nothing wrong and that dude was a pos. Thank God he showed his true colors right away.