My wife (44F) and I (40M) have been married for 13 years, together for nearly 16. We have 2 kids and we’re now separating. Our marriage has not been working for a while and we’ve had a range of issues and the love has been lost. A bit of a case of “between what is said and not meant and what is meant and not said, all love is lost” situation.
I know I’m at the start of my journey of flying solo and I’ve only moved out of the family home a week ago today (staying while we sort out our future state plans was too hard) and everything has just hit me today like a fucking truck.
I moved into my brothers a week ago, he and his wife have been great and we’ve been talking about what’s happening and they have been great counsel and helping to distract me and find places to live.
Whilst I’ve been talking to my kids daily and my wife and are on decent talking terms, the whole reality of my life changing from what I’ve known for the past 15 years has left me numb.
I know things will get less painful and uncomfortable with time, as I build my life again as a solo parent, but coming to terms with the massive shift in everything that has been my normal for so long is really kicking my arse.
I will never sleep in the same bed again, put my kids to bed in the same room or cook dinner in my kitchen. Simple things like my routine of taking the kids to school, walking the dog route etc.
I’m sitting in my brother’s spare room, watching the Office and wishing I could just have someone hug me while I cry.
Le sigh.