so i have had pedophile ocd for years now, this is nothing new to me, but it started getting really bad around last year, then it sorta died down and towards the end of summer 2025 it got super bad again. so bad to the point where i can barely manage being around my little sisters or any small child. my 7 year old sister gets really close to me and it is really uncomfortable and when she does i get all these urges to touch a certain place in a “perfect” way or move in a certain way and it makes me feel so disgusted. i also get this weird compulsion whenever i see kids where i squeeze my crotch area. whenever i see kids i also get these intrusive sexual thoughts about them and i get this false feeling of enjoyment and i also have this uncontrollable urge to look at their private areas i can’t handle this anymore. and i don’t want to do any of these things it makes me feel so disgusting and even though i am only 14 i am horrified that i am a predator and one day i am going to grow up and touch kids. i keep telling my brain its just ocd but i cannot get these thoughts out of my head, i genuinely have been feeling miserable every day for the last 3 weeks since this episode started. i dont think ive ever had an episode this long or bad before. i havent spoken to a therapist in months and im horrified to talk to anyone online cause they are going to think im a weirdo but i saw some people on reddit getting it off their chest so i came here. someone please help
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You do need professional help. This is way above reddit’s paygrade. Seeking help is not shameful, and bottling up these emotions will not be good. Please, for your own sake, find a mental health professional to confide in.
your not a predator unless you act on these thoughts
You are not weak for reaching out for help! A professional can help you train your brain and retrain your thoughts, in order to cope with the thoughts and help your brain come away from them
You are a wise young person. You know what is going on and that it is wrong illegal and mentally disturbing. There are specialists that csn help you. I hope and trust you can seek professional therapy.
Please, please seek professional help. I wish we had more help for people in these situations, but I’m hoping someone can point you in the right direction. Maybe you are in a state where you can freely speak to someone as a minor without them reporting it to your family? You are not a monster for your feelings that you want to repress, only if you actually hurt a child.
In the meantime, can you find a way to maybe spend less alone time around the children? Maybe find a club, sport, or hobby that will take up more of your time? It’s not that you don’t love your family, but right now you are suffering from an illness, and you need to not have to be put in situations that will exacerbate that illness or potentially cause harm to others while you are trying to get treatment.