Hello. I write this to vent and get your opinion a little.
TL;DR
I’m meeting a girl and I’m plagued by fears and doubts about previous relationships.
I (35m) have been knowing a girl (35f) for a month. We have had 3 GREAT dates. Everything flows without any effort, we speak the same language, same nonsense. Same jokes. Common tastes. Values language of love… Everything seems to be going very well, we function very very well in intimacy and the conversations are very entertaining and interesting. The only drawback I can give her a priori is a little superficial… and that is that she didn’t seem like a pretty girl in her face… although I see her getting better and better.
On the other hand… my previous relationship lasted very short (7 months) but it was VERY intense. Lots of red flags but lots of emotional and sexual understanding. And on a superficial level… It broke the sexy/crazy curve..
This has left me with consequences even though that relationship ended months ago and I feel like I am trying to savor this beautiful thing that we are building just by thinking (and sometimes comparing) both people.
To make matters worse, on our third date. We took a tourist route to a town lost in the mountains… Everything was great and wonderful… but it gave me some strange vibes. It reminded me a lot of my first relationship, which was very good for 10 years… and very bad for another 10… I sometimes felt like I was in those escapades of those first 10 good years… and my mind started looking for patterns (maybe out of fear??) and I had a thousand doubts…
Long story short, I think I’m getting scared of this working. Or previous situations are repeated and it doesn’t work…
I think I will never get over my second partner since on that occasion nothing was broken and it was so intense that it marked me a lot.