I’m 28, turning 29 next week. She’s 36.
We’ve been on about 10 dates so it’s getting to that stage where I feel like it’s really starting to get some traction. She’s a really great woman. She treats me amazingly. the sex is great. she’s kind and thoughtful. I haven’t experienced that in a while.
I haven’t been in a relationship for over 3 years. So this feels quite alien to me.
My thoughts before were that next time I get in a relationship, I need to be pretty sure it’s the one I’m going to marry. In my last relationship I felt like I got stuck after 8 months. And ended up staying with her for a year and a half because although I was unhappy, I couldn’t bring myself to leave because she’s a good person. And I’m worried that’ll happen again.
But. I don’t know how realistic that is. I did have a conversation with her about this recently. I told her all my concerns around age timelines for children, worries about being unsure if we want the same things long term, worrying about wasting her time because I’m a bit older.
her response was that I’m probably putting the kart way before the horse. We may hate eachother in a month. And talk about marriage and kids is a bit stupid at this stage. But she also said if I’m not willing to give a proper go then we should stop.
There is one thing for me that she enjoys a rave occasionally and partaking in party drugs. I may be able to live with that. But I also may not. 90% of people here in london do it. So it may be something I just have to get used to. But Icould see that becoming a problem. I’m not sure yet
I don’t know what to do. I really really like spending time with her. But I’m also not ready at all to say she’ll be the last girl I date. Or that I’ll even be with her in a year.
The present is great and I’m enjoying spending time with her. But I’m also worried in a years time I may want to leave. And that makes me nervous about the pain I’d feel. I find it very hard letting romantic partners go. But I’m also a bit of a perfectionist. Which is why I haven’t dated anyone properly (longer than 3 dates) in years.
Am I thinking too far ahead?
tl;dr been dating a girl for about 2 months and unsure on future. But wondering if I’m thinking too far ahead.