My boyfriend (30M) has out-of-state family that he visits a couple times a year, usually for 2–7 weeks. I (25F) don’t go with him since I haven’t been invited and I’m not much of a “family person.”
When he’s there, I don’t expect constant communication. He’s told me his family dislikes him being on his phone (he even got in trouble once for texting me at 3am), and his mom has asked him not to call me at night. I respect that.
Normally though, since we don’t live together, we have nightly calls or at least regular check-ins. I’d be happy with short updates like “Heading to the lake, love you” or “Running late, ttyl.” Instead, I usually just get a generic “good morning” text that feels very routine.
What bothers me is that while he says he “can’t be on his phone,” he’ll post 5–20 stories on Facebook/Instagram every day. So I end up watching his day online instead of hearing from him directly. It makes me feel disconnected, especially since we’ve been together 3 years.
I don’t want to be controlling or demanding, but it would mean a lot to me if he sent even one thoughtful message a day. Am I overreacting for feeling hurt by this, or is it fair to want more direct
communication?
TL;DR: My (25F) boyfriend (30M) says he can’t use his phone much around his family during visits, but he still posts many social media stories. He rarely sends me personal updates during these trips, which makes me feel left out. Am I wrong to feel hurt by this?