I (28M) have been with my girlfriend (27F) for about 2 years, and lately it feels like every little thing turns into an argument. Not huge blowouts, but constant bickering like who left dishes in the sink, who forgot to buy groceries, or who’s “more tired” after work. I know all couples argue sometimes, but it’s been happening so often that I’m starting to wonder if it’s a sign of something deeper. Part of me thinks it’s just stress, since we’ve both been busy, but part of me worries we’re stuck in a negative cycle. I was scrolling [INSERT HERE] after one of our arguments and realized I don’t know if this is just a rough patch or if it means we’re not compatible long term.
Has anyone else gone through this? How do you tell the difference between normal couple arguments and something more serious?
TL;DR: Me (28M) and my girlfriend (27F) have been together 2 years. Lately every little thing turns into an argument. Unsure if it’s just stress or a sign we’re not compatible.
Comments
This is not a constructive argument. Sounds like you’re arguing about who’s right and who’s at fault. You could talk to her, tell her you realized what you told us and that you’d like to keep arguments more on a problem-solving side.
You’re partners, which means you two against the problem, not you two against each other.
If someone keeps forgetting the dishes it’s about the why (too lazy would be a problem-> person acknowledges that and be better) and constructive ways to change it (putting a regular reminder on the phone).
The underlying reason for this bickering could be that it’s been established, so you keep comparing your mistakes and who does what better. Could be something more serious that’s not so easy to fix (that you resent each other for an unrelated reason, e.g. feeling stuck in the relationship)
> constant bickering like who left dishes in the sink, who forgot to buy groceries, or who’s “more tired” after work
These all seem like issues that have definitive answers, meaning that one of you is likely lying. If that’s the case it’s going to be pretty easy to see the problem.
If there’s no lying going on then it sounds like a communication issue at the root of each problem, i.e. someone left dishes in the sink and didn’t deal with them because they didn’t realise the expectation to do so was there, and the other partner didn’t express that expectation.
I think it’d be helpful if you provided specifics of how these arguments start and play out.
I’d make sure to try to address why these normal communications are creating resentment or hostility instead of being a relationship thing where you both talk to each other respectfully and help each other grow and improve through constructive and supportive criticism
Sounds like you two need a mute button for a week.