We live an hour apart and alternate visits, but I’ve been wanting more. I’m talking about things like a house, travel, improving our finances, but he’s more comfortable with how things are.
We had talked about moving in by Jan/Feb and being engaged by our 10 year anniversary in April, but I just want us to make it through Fall right now. He’s struggled with depression and we’ve talked about therapy for awhile, but he recently fully decided against it. I let him know how it made me feel and we had a long call over it.
He said he feels like he’s never enough, and that when I bring up these things, it just feels like criticism. He asked me to stop bringing up therapy or future plans for at least a month. He also said that if this keeps happening, he’ll have to sacrifice his own feelings.
Now I’m wondering if I’m asking for too much or if we’ve just grown to want different things. I love him and want us to work, but I don’t know what to do if we can’t move forward together. Should I even suggest couples therapy if he’s already saying no to regular therapy?
TL;DR:
Been with my BF for 9 years, long-distance-ish. I want more for our future (a house, travel, financial stability), but he’s pretty content. He’s also decided against therapy despite previous struggles with depression. He feels I’m pushing too hard, I feel like we’re stuck, and I’m not sure what to do next