I ‘23F’ was in a relationship with my ex, ‘25M’, for about 1 year. At the beginning, we lived close to each other, but later he moved away, and distance became part of our relationship. I always gave him freedom — he traveled often for work and with friends, and I never tried to hold him back.
The main issue was social media. A couple of times I asked about him following other girls, and he always reassured me. Still, because of my insecurities, I sometimes checked a site that showed his most recent follows. One night, when he was in the U.S. for work, I saw he had followed a local girl and it triggered my doubts. I didn’t accuse him directly, but he felt pressured by this, and eventually things fell apart.
Recently, I asked him if he thought we might ever get back together. His response was “I don’t know.” I told him I’d respect his need for space, because right now that’s the best way I can show I care.
I still love him and want to rebuild, but I’m torn between waiting for him or moving on for good. What would you do in my situation?
TLDR me and my ex broke up due to me checking his ig following list, he felt pressured. What do you think?
Comments
It is a little odd for him to follow other girls like that. It seems like you guys just wouldn’t work long distance and that’s ok. It’s not for everyone
You stalked his social media, found evidence of nothing, but let your insecurity destroy the relationship anyway. He said “I don’t know” about getting back together, which means no but he’s being polite. Stop waiting around for someone who’s already shown you that your jealousy made the relationship unbearable. Work on yourself instead, as what you’re shown here is that you’re unable to trust him. Relationships need three things to work: trust, respect and honesty. That’s the bare minimum. If you damage one of them, it’s very difficult to repair it.
What has changed on your side to convince you that you’d be less insecure or doubtful this time? If you’re still you, and he’s still him, then the dynamic between you is not going to be different. Unless there’s been some change, things will likely fall apart again for the exact same reasons as last time