I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years and lately we have been fighting over so many things. Some important some not.
All of our fights usually end with me being the point of the blame and then me apologising. He would make it out to be my fault for getting offended or making it sound that something may be wrong with me, or that I didn’t understand him clearly.
I am the type of person who cannot be angry with someone for long as I am super emotional and really just want to work out what has gone wrong.
He blames me for “wanting to fight” whenever I say something, or bring something that I think threatens our relationship. And to be honest, I dont want to fight, just want to be heard and talk to him about what bothers me. He never sees that the issues I bring up are worth analysing as in his eyes its not an issue whatsoever.
And lately this constant blaming caused me to build so much resentment towards him, which inevitably increased number of our arguments.
I love him dearly and he is a really good person in my every single other aspect. These fights are increasing in frequency and I have become more volatile. I am on the verge of either exploding on him or just completely leaving this relationship, and I really dont want to do either.
There are a lot of nuances and different fights which I am not gonna go into too much depth. It stems from someone saying something in a wrong way (without realising it) and another person taking it as rudeness and attitude. Honestly, an endless cycle. But whatever the fight may be, there is always a way of him turning the blame on me. I am not saying that its purely him, or purely me, these fights occur due to both of our lack of communication, but he refuses to see how things he does/says hurts me. Whenever it is my fault I am not afraid to apologise, but I feel like he never sees his fault in things and expects me to apologise all the time.
As mentioned previously, I am super emotional and any type of disagreement brings me to tears. Him knowing that, Im afraid that he might be using my sensitivity to weasel out of guilt and apologising because I can’t stay mad for long as it causes too much pain for me.
Can you advise how to try get past this anger and resentment to find a common ground?
TLDR: how can I stop myself from building resentment towards my boyfriend?