My mom left only me her house because my sister is a bit of a fuck up. My sister and her daughter were living at the house with my mom before she died. Originally my mom had told them that they could live with her until my niece was 18 years old and then they had to leave. My niece was 15 (she’s now 16) at the time so I said they could still continue to live there until she turns 18.
I thought my sister and her daughter had still been living in the house together since then, but I just found out after a visit to the area that my sister just decided to take off around 2-3 months ago with her new boyfriend to start her life over.
So her daughter has been living on her own for all that time. She doesn’t want me to report her mom because she doesn’t want to deal with CPS because she has had bad experiences in the past and is doing fine on her own. She apparently has a job and has been able to support herself. She had been apparently supporting her mother before this as well, so she says it’s easier now.
My issue is I worry about the liabilities of it since I own the house. I worry if I let a 16 year old continue to live there alone it could be problems for me legally if she got hurt of if anyone she invites over got hurt.
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Original copy of post’s text by /u/DryLow9072:
My mom left only me her house because my sister is a bit of a fuck up. My sister and her daughter were living at the house with my mom before she died. Originally my mom had told them that they could live with her until my niece was 18 years old and then they had to leave. My niece was 15 (she’s now 16) at the time so I said they could still continue to live there until she turns 18.
I thought my sister and her daughter had still been living in the house together since then, but I just found out after a visit to the area that my sister just decided to take off around 2-3 months ago with her new boyfriend to start her life over.
So her daughter has been living on her own for all that time. She doesn’t want me to report her mom because she doesn’t want to deal with CPS because she has had bad experiences in the past and is doing fine on her own. She apparently has a job and has been able to support herself. She had been apparently supporting her mother before this as well, so she says it’s easier now.
My issue is I worry about the liabilities of it since I own the house. I worry if I let a 16 year old continue to live there alone it could be problems for me legally if she got hurt of if anyone she invites over got hurt.
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Why not help your niece petition to be an emancipated minor?
whoa! I dont know what to say but sorry for that girl. She deserves better
Can you take your niece in? She sound well adjusted and independent? Sell the house and leave your sister to do whatever she wants to do.
NTA
NTA, but please don’t put your niece in the system. She’s had enough heartache. If you do decide to report your sister, at least take on the responsibility of being her guardian. She doesn’t sound like she’ll need much from you other than you being an adult.
You need to talk with a family lawyer. Find out if you can petition the courts for guardianship of your niece. Once you have that ready to roll, report your sister for child abandonment and sell the house
Does your niece still go to school?
At 16, I’m not sure what would happen with regards to CPS if you report your sister.
What state are you in?
And when was the last time you went to visit the house? Maybe you should go over there for a visit to check on the property and check on your niece. Is she really paying all the bills, perhaps have her show you the electric bill, gas, water, trash, internet and anything else she pays. See if the house is clean. Look in the fridge and see if she has food and is really caring for herself. etc., etc.
I don’t think there is an issue of liability unless she is having parties, or doing drugs or anything like that. But I’d go over there to see how things are and talk with your niece before doing anything official.
YTA solely because you’re more worried about the house than you are about the safety and well-being of a sixteen year old girl who’s living in the house her grandmother died in, her mother abandoned her in, and the house you care more about than her. Who does she even have on her side? I’d move in with her, I’d file a report with CPS, I’d blow her up all over social media saying she left her minor daughter to fend for herself bc your sister wanted to chase dick instead of being a parent anymore.
You wouldn’t be the asshole for reporting your sister, she deserves that and more probably, but that doesn’t make you innocent or better than her if you’re unwilling to actually get help or offer to help your niece. What the fuck is wrong with you.
It’s good of you for allowing your niece to stay in the house she’s known for so many years until she’s 18.
I strongly suggest you help her to become emancipated.
How far away do you live from your mom’s house?
How old are you and your sister?
Have you checked out what your niece has told you, is the house in good condition, how long has she been at her job, what kind of a job,
Is she making good enough money to pay the utilities, for food, putting anything into savings?
What is it about your niece that makes you iffy about her being well adjusted? It’s obvious you haven’t talk to her in several months.
You can always put cameras outside the house to ensure no strange people come around.
Talk to your niece. Anonymously speak to a social worker and a lawyer about if it would be an issue with your niece living there alone. But it sounds like your niece could use some family. Perhaps be a support for her as much as you’re able.
UpdateMe
Don’t report her unless she is in danger. Clearly she is responsible. The system is a 💩 show. She’s better off on her own than stuck in the system.
Talk to her about becoming an emancipated minor, and help her navigate that process.
It sounds like she is a functioning adult and that will hopefully negate any need for CPS to get involved.
I mean, the liability hasn’t changed. She’s not out partying. She’s working and hopefully still attending school. Now that you know you can easily work out some agreements with niece to keep her in the home for the next two years.
Does she have any closeby friends, moms, or dad’s who might be willing to be her guardian on paper so she can access some benefits like food stamps, child support, medicaid, etc. Maybe a teacher or church member? In my state, guardians get paid, maybe they’d split that with her for the trouble.
For real, tho, this is your problem because you made promises. You got left the house, and you gave your word you’d let her live there. This is how you honor it. Do better than the rest of your shitty family for this child.
The only person this will effect is the daughter. Find a way to get her removed from her mother
Talk to a lawyer, then, by all means.
YTA
This poor girl has been abandoned by everyone in her life. Your comment that you refuse to disrupt yours and your family’s lives to care for your niece is despicable. She is not coping on her own. She has been forced to cope well before she should have to. She’s a child. Stop being so selfish and callous.
Discuss with her what emancipation may look like. Your sister absolutely needs to be reported for child abandonment. If your niece doesn’t want to go into foster care and you dont want to disrupt your life, emancipation is her best bet so she can legally make her own decisions. Not having that legal protection puts her in danger. If you refuse to care for her, you can at least support her application and continue to guarantee her a place to live until she has finished her education. If you throw her out of the house, you’re no better than your deadbeat sister.
Got it. I had to re-read to make sure I understood… you are concerned about liability.
This poor girl knows her life is on a timer and that once she’s 18 she will go back to have zero support.
Verdict: YATAH
aren’t you just so blessed to have a whole extra property to yourself and have nothing to worry about except liability…
YTA because you haven’t already.
I call BS. You want the house vacant you could rent it make money sell it and I believe you’re using the excuse of liability. What what liability if she falls and hurts herself yeah you could in theory be liable but that applies to an adult that applies to anyone else I think you’re making up an excuse for wanting her out.
Help her emancipate but in the meantime you are very right to be concerned about liabilities so don’t leave her living there alone.
YTA.
You should work with your niece on a better solution. She’s clearly a good kid. Your sister is a piece of shit but don’t throw your niece into the system.
YTA.
You should work with your niece on a better solution. She’s clearly a good kid. Your sister is a piece of shit but don’t throw your niece into the system.
NTA for reporting your sister.
YTA for not being willing to help your niece. My nieces and nephews have my heart. I couldn’t imagine abandoning them.
YTA. CPS will derail that kid, move her so that she loses her job and treat her like a criminal.
You can help the kid become emancipated. Or, let the kid stay with you for 18 mos or so. She’ll age out before you know it. Another option is to find a responsible adult who needs a place to stay, and rent them a room in the house for a discount in return for keeping an eye on the kid.
You can install some cameras at the front and back door, and even in the public areas like the living room. They aren’t expensive if she already has wi fi. If not, you should install some wifi. Let the kid know it’s conditional on letting her stay in the house for you to have some supervision. Also, have the kid join a life360 circle, so you can see where she’s going. Don’t interfere in her activities or make many comments. Just let her know you need to know where she last was, if she were to disappear. My whole family is on life360 including adult kids.
Your niece got abandoned and you are worried about liability?
You’re an AH for several reasons. Reporting the mother is going to put the poor in the foster system, which is likely way worse than a poor 16 year old living by herself. She’s a minor child abandoned by her mother and apparently not cared for by anyone else in the family. Do you have no compassion or concern for her other than your liability? My only brother doesn’t have any children and neither do I, but if he did and abandoned them I would absolutely go out of my way to help my niece/nephew in addition to tracking down my brother and kicking his ass. But if this is how you treat family I’d hate to see what you do to an enemy.
I feel her on CPS getting involved. Foster care is HORRIBLE and thats where she could possibly end up. If you talk to anyone about helping her become emancipated, research it online first. Involving a social worker, lawyer etc can still cause CPS involvement and possibly have her put in foster care.
Report your sister, take your niece in, rent the place, save the money for both of you. NTA
Nta you NEED to talk to someone. The sister has dumped her child on you basically by you owning the house. You could become her “guardian” and make sure her mother never comes back. Or you can make her move and be a ward of the state but she cant just keep living this way. And yes if someone she invites gets hurt thats on you.
Another commenter has mentioned making your niece an emancipated minor. Would it be possible for you or another adult family member live with her while that process is going on?
Can you share the house with your niece until she becomes 18? Or I also like the suggestion of helping her become emancipated
NTA- your sister is an awful person for abandoning her daughter BUT also maybe look at other options such as helping your niece becoming an emancipated minor.
YTA Don’t report your niece,give her chance.
She sounds responsible and able.
Her mum has abandoned her and she is taking of herself, she has a job and she has a roof over her head.
Have a proper sit down and talk to her.
Keep an eye on her.
Maybe become her guardian.