Last year, my family and I went to Umrah. After we came back, our dishwasher and the kids’ sink broke, so they needed repairs. My dad ended up creating a bunch of credit cards in my name and put the repair costs under my debt.
Weeks later, after finding out about this, I’ve been stressed and eventually broke down crying. Yesterday, my mom saw me crying. She told me that my dad would pay off my debt. But then she said, in a very harsh tone, that she would “never ask me for a single penny” ever again after learning my dad took out a home equity loan.
I never once complained about helping or about the debt itself, but the way she said it really hurt me.
AITA for feeling upset about my situation?
Comments
No, the parents should of used their own credit cards
That’s very disrespectful. He could have asked you if he really needed your help instead of putting you in debt without your consent. Your mom seems to have a very passive aggressive attitude, trying to make you feel bad and guilty for something you shouldn’t. Definitely NTA
Oh my the NERVE of you getting into a hissy fit because you were the victim of identity fraud, what’s this world COMING to???!!!!
Of COURSE, you’re NTA, and if they expel any more gaslight, remind them that there are some agents who’ll show you more courtesy.
NTA and you should press charges for identity theft
You need to freeze your credit asap, with all 3 credit companies.
This wasn’t a case of “oh, I took some bills from the emergency stash from your room” This was full on identity theft.
I would seriously consider asking him to put in writing the terms of how much and when he is going to be paying back.
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ever again after learning my dad took out a home equity loan
Did he also do that under your name?
NTA but you need to report it as fraud. You family will use and abuse you for the rest of your life and do you really want that? I bet you want a good credit score right? and the ability to buy your own things using your credit? report them.
nta. You need to immediately freeze your credit (there are three main companies in the US, or wherever you are) and cancel the cards. Your dad is way out of line to not talk to you first. your mom is enabling, and you cannot allow them to steal from you and wreck your credit and do nothing. your mom is pretty awful for talking to you as if you have no reason to be upset. You have every reason when your family disrespects you.
He pays it off now or call the police and file a report for identity theft
If you don’t, these are your bills.
NTA
Pursue charges for identity theft and fraud and lock your credit immediately. There’s needs to be consequences for their choices.
NTA, you need to get a police report. He is screwing up your life and by filing a police report it doesn’t mean they will find him. Its not your job to say who took out those cards in your name just that your credit report says cards were taken out in your name that you weren’t involved with.
Then take those to the credit bureaus
NTA. Where I’m from this is called fraud and theft. You should file a police report. If you ignore this, your credit will be ruined.
This happened to a family member of mine, and he called the police and had it removed from his credit among other things.
if you’re old enough to get debt, you’re old enough to be asked to take it on, not stolen from.
File the charges OP
You need to file a police report and then notify the banks the issued the credit cards that they were fraudulently opened accounts. Give the bank the police incident number so that they can see that you are serious and that you have reported it as a crime.
You should also get copies of your credit report from each of the major credit reporting agencies. If you see any other accounts that you didn’t open include those in your police report.
Odds are very high that nobody will do anything prosecute the criminal who committed these crimes so unfortunately your father will get off scott free. But at least your credit report will be cleared of these fraudulent accounts.
But I am confused; why did he need to commit bank fraud if he could get a home equity loan?
This is literally a crime. You are not the AH, you are the victim of a crime.
How old are you?
Regardless its fraud and illegal so you’re def NTA for being upset
That is fraud. Freeze your credit immediately! Draft a promissory note for the terms of repayment and file it with the county as a lien against the house. So that way if he decides to not pay, you can have recourse.
Or, file charges for identity theft now. Either way, your parents have zero respect for you. Don’t give them any. I say that as a parent. Fuck them. Good luck
Went to what?
Please, report this. I know it’s your dad/parents. But really, everything what I heard about US and debt… that can really follow you for the rest of your life if you are unlucky.
And you don’t know how your relationship with them will be in the future. Or if there will be a relationship at all, because they are abusive — financially and emotionally too. Anyway, there are a lot of unpredictable outcomes. What if you have an argument, and they refuse to pay it off? You would be the one on the hook.
Or there will be another “emergency” and because it worked so great in the past, your father, or your mother put another debt under your name?
You have to cut off their access to your name/money. No one should be able to create debt under your name.
Updateme, just in case.
Where are the credit cards? Does your father have them? Please report the cards as fraudulently taken out in your name.
Your dad committed fraud. Mom has no right to be upset. They did not ask you for money, the stole from you.
Your dad committed fraud… using your identity.
And if he’s using your identity then that probably means that he already ruined his and your mothers credit… and if he’s not paying the bills in his name.. why would he pay yours?
NtA.
NTA. And lock your credit down before he completely destroys it. Give him a week to pay them off and close them or you’ll press charges for theft and identity theft. And thank mom for letting you know that you never have to worry about her asking for money. Took a big weight off of you.
Are you TA? Umm, no. Your dad commited ifentity theft. File a police report, report to the credit bureau, and report to the credit cards. That’s so illegal its not even funny.
Listen to most of these. One other thing to do is contact the credit card companies and tell them you just found out that your identity has been stolen and used to open fraudulent credit accounts under your name. Tell all three credit reporting agencies, TransUnion, Equifax and Experian that your identity was stolen etc etc. CC companies are pretty darn good at finding out the details to provide the particulars. They’ll know who signed up, what SSN was used on the application, what address they used and if they had documents to prove who signed up. Did they forge your identification or was the application done via the internet. If by internet, they can trace the IP Address right down to whose computer was used. Get all this done and provide all of it to the police. Their thieves!!!
You are NTA but your mom sure is cold!
Instead of sympathizing with you or condemning your father’s bogus behavior, your mom chastised you for being traumatized after you got ripped off. Ouch!
BTW friend, I don’t know if we can call it “helping” if you don’t find out until after the fact. After all, your parents didn’t ask you “for a single penny” this time did they? Who knows how long it will take your father to pay off these debts? Also, what is going to happen with those credit cards in the future?
Its identity theft, if you’re in the US make a police report, then get a copy, call the credit card companies, report the accts as fraudulent, they will require a copy of the police report, then close the accounts, next add fraud alerts for your credit report by contacting each credit repository; Equifax, trans union, and Experian. Lastly, freeze credit for the same three repositories. This can actually all be done on websites but you can also call them each. Parents may be upset but they are trashing your future if they don’t pay timely, and you, not them, end up with derogatory credit history. Protect yourself now, the only ones who should feel bad are your parents who committed a crime