AITA for wanting to live with my dad instead of my mom because of how my stepdad treats me? (I’m 13M)
I (13M) live with my mom and stepdad (50M). Yesterday I told my mom I didn’t want to move to a farm. Out of nowhere, my stepdad jumped in defensively with, “How do you know? You don’t even leave your room.”
I told him, “Leave me alone, I wasn’t even talking to you.” After that, he mocked me, saying, “Ohhh I forgot, you’re sooo fragile.” For context, I have anxiety and stress issues, and he was clearly mocking me for it.
The next night, he came to get my dog off my bed. My dog took a second to get up (you know when a dog just wants to stay comfy for a bit). My stepdad goes, “Maybe you should evaluate why your dog listens to me more than you.”
That really set me off, because when my stepdad first got my dog, he used to hit him — like slamming his face into pee if he had an accident. So no, my dog isn’t “listening” to him — he’s scared of him.
What made it worse is my mom told me I should apologize, saying I “had an attitude” just because I didn’t want him jumping into a conversation he wasn’t even part of.
Meanwhile, my real dad has never mocked me, disrespected me, or made me feel small. He’s always been kind and honest with me. Because of that, I feel like I’d rather live with my dad than with my mom and stepdad.
AITA for wanting that?
Comments
NTA, you are clearly feeling unsafe with your stepdad and that is completely normal with how he is treating you. Question though have you had a proper talk with your mom about everything he has done?
You are 13, not 5, you are old enough to notice when an adult is being disrespectful to you. Wanting to live somewhere you feel safe and respected isn’t wrong. Plus It doesn’t mean you don’t love your mom, it just means your dad’s house feels like a healthier place to grow up right now. That’s a reasonable choice.
No, you’re not the asshole. Wanting to live in a safe, respectful environment where you feel supported is completely reasonable, especially at 13. It’s okay to prefer your dad’s home if it feels healthier for you. Your feelings matter, and wanting safety and kindness doesn’t make you selfish.
NTA
You need to go where you feel the safest and happiest. You need to talk to your dad and see if a custody change can happen. Idk where you live but each state or country will have different laws on change of custody. In some places once a kid hits a certain age, usually around 13, they can have a greater say in which parent they want to live with.
No, don’t let your parents tell you otherwise. You deserve to feel respected and seen as a person in your home. Your stepdad won’t get any better and your mom enables his behavior so just let it go and live with your dad
NTA. Anyone would prefer a respectful, safe home over living with a bully. Regardless of the setting.
Your stepdad is an asshole and so is your mom for letting him into your life/refusing to preotect you and the pup from him. Hopefully you can talk to your dad about this, since your mom won’t support you.
It sounds like you’re dealing with a toxic environment, and it’s totally okay to wanna dip from that. Respect and empathy should be the norm, not the exception. Your stepdad’s whole shtick with the dog tells a lot about his character, and it ain’t good. IMHO, if your dad’s cool with it, make the move. Sometimes you gotta put your mental health first.
It makes sense you’d feel closer to your dad if he’s the one making you feel safe and heard. That’s actually really mature of you to recognize
shut up