AITAH for taking a few days to myself?
I know it’s quite far away but for Christmas my girlfriend and I both get the time between Christmas and New Year off work.
Alongside this were both planning on putting the 2nd and 5th in a leave so my girlfriend and I will be off between 25th December-6th January.
When I was a kid I used to get a few video games a year for Christmas from my mum and she’d enjoy watching me play them.
It’s something she genuinely enjoyed and I liked her watching me. It was a nice thing for us to share. She’d sit upstairs with me while I played, she’d ask questions about them, ask me to play certain games etc.
Sometimes I’d bring the console downstairs and I’d play in the living room with her watching me.
Since I’ve been an adult and worked full time, I barely have time to play video games anymore and the only time my mum would watch me is when I go home for Christmas day.
Unfortunately she passed away in March so I won’t have any more Christmas’ with her.
For this year I have decided I want to spend a few days playing video games in my time off just like I used to when I was a kid.
I know it won’t be the same since my mum won’t be there but it’ll be a nice way to remember her.
My girlfriend and I will be at her family’s house at Christmas and Boxing day then we’re going out for a meal on New Years Eve and busy New Years day.
Apart from this we have nothing planned so I told my gf I am planning on spending the 27th-30th playing video games and then we can go away for the night on the 30th and we can make plans for the days between 2nd-6th.
She asked if I was being serious and I said yeah and explained why. She said I shouldn’t be using the majority of the time playing video games but I pointed out the majority of the time will still be with her.
I mentioned that I’d need the time to relax anyway since it’s a tiring period.
She just said I shouldn’t be allocating 3-4 days to play games and should be open to make more plans with her.
I again explained why it is important to me and explained that I’m open to make plans between the 2nd-6th and the following weekends etc but she said it’s still not right that I’m using a large chunk of our time off to do things on my own.
I told her she’s welcome to watch me play and mentioned she’s free to make plans with friends or family etc. She said I should be open to change the length of time but I told her I wouldn’t be doing that.
She said she is clearly not a priority and I should be doing more with her despite me pointing out again that we’re spending the majority of the time off together.
AITAH for taking a few days to myself?
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AITAH for taking a few days to myself?
I know it’s quite far away but for Christmas my girlfriend and I both get the time between Christmas and New Year off work.
Alongside this were both planning on putting the 2nd and 5th in a leave so my girlfriend and I will be off between 25th December-6th January.
When I was a kid I used to get a few video games a year for Christmas from my mum and she’d enjoy watching me play them.
It’s something she genuinely enjoyed and I liked her watching me. It was a nice thing for us to share. She’d sit upstairs with me while I played, she’d ask questions about them, ask me to play certain games etc.
Sometimes I’d bring the console downstairs and I’d play in the living room with her watching me.
Since I’ve been an adult and worked full time, I barely have time to play video games anymore and the only time my mum would watch me is when I go home for Christmas day.
Unfortunately she passed away in March so I won’t have any more Christmas’ with her.
For this year I have decided I want to spend a few days playing video games in my time off just like I used to when I was a kid.
I know it won’t be the same since my mum won’t be there but it’ll be a nice way to remember her.
My girlfriend and I will be at her family’s house at Christmas and Boxing day then we’re going out for a meal on New Years Eve and busy New Years day.
Apart from this we have nothing planned so I told my gf I am planning on spending the 27th-30th playing video games and then we can go away for the night on the 30th and we can make plans for the days between 2nd-6th.
She asked if I was being serious and I said yeah and explained why. She said I shouldn’t be using the majority of the time playing video games but I pointed out the majority of the time will still be with her.
I mentioned that I’d need the time to relax anyway since it’s a tiring period.
She just said I shouldn’t be allocating 3-4 days to play games and should be open to make more plans with her.
I again explained why it is important to me and explained that I’m open to make plans between the 2nd-6th and the following weekends etc but she said it’s still not right that I’m using a large chunk of our time off to do things on my own.
I told her she’s welcome to watch me play and mentioned she’s free to make plans with friends or family etc. She said I should be open to change the length of time but I told her I wouldn’t be doing that.
She said she is clearly not a priority and I should be doing more with her despite me pointing out again that we’re spending the majority of the time off together.
AITAH for taking a few days to myself?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Planned to take a few days to myself.
My partner said i should be fine making plans with her instead and should be prioritising us.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. So let me get this straight, out of 12 days from the 24th to the 6th, 3 days you’ll have to yourself and nine will effectively be with her and her family? She has no reason to complain.
Dude, you’re literally talking about 3-4 chill days out of a 12-day break, after spending Christmas, Boxing Day, NYE, and NYD with her and her family. That’s not “ignoring her,” that’s you wanting a little nostalgia + self-care. She’s acting like you’re locking yourself in a basement for the whole holiday when in reality, you’re asking for a breather to grieve your mom in your own way. You offered for her to join, you’re still prioritizing her plenty
NTA. It seems like she’s trying to make you choose between playing video games and spending time with her. Good grief…..
I could swear I already read this story a few weeks ago…
Personally I would say that your desired plan seems completely reasonable, but the timescales not so much.
1-2 days as a break from the Christmas period and as a time to remember your mum seems absolutely fair, but stretching it out to 3-4 days seems a much bigger imposition.
Remember that this period is tiring and stressful for everyone, and your partner is probably looking forward to getting a bit of downtime in the middle of it all with you as a break from the season.
A couple of days seems like a fair compromise to me.
So overall YTA for your scheduling, but I can absolutely understand and approve of what you are doing.
This is a repost. You didn’t like the judgement last time so you’re reposting it now.
NTA. You’re asking for 3 days out of almost 2 weeks off to grieve and do something that connects you to your mom. That’s not selfish, that’s healthy