His main reason for saying I’m “disrespectful” isn’t just me saying I didn’t want to move to a farm—it’s one rude comment I made months ago. For context: the night before, we’d been joking around, but he suddenly yelled at me. The next night at around 11:00 pm, when I was basically half-asleep (I hadn’t slept the night before because of my sleep issues), he told me to take the dog out. I snapped and said something dumb like, “I hope the dog pees in your mouth.”
Honestly, I don’t know why anyone would be that offended by a silly, half-conscious comment, but I still apologized since it clearly aggravated him (I had zero intention of hurting him). I even laughed it off like it was no big deal, but he yelled at me and kind of got in my face about it. That was about 5 months ago, and I haven’t said anything rude since. But he still uses that one moment as “proof” I have an attitude.
More recently, after mocking me, he told me the only reason he cares about being around me is because I’m a “deep thinker.” He’s trying to make money off an app, so he handed me a book and basically wants me to read it, build his app, and manage it on my own. It feels like the only time he sees value in me is when I can do something for him.
My mom doesn’t make it easier either. She constantly comments on my social skills and tries to drag me to events, but she usually can’t get me to go. The problem is, when I’m around her, I actually feel uncomfortable talking to anyone—so her pressure just makes things worse. If they would just listen to me instead of ignoring what I say or criticizing me, there wouldn’t even be an issue.
I just wanted to give the full picture, including their side. But I still feel like the way I’m treated is way out of proportion compared to one late-night slip-up I’m not sure though.
Comments
thought it was very silly didn’t realize it would be insulting what’s your guys take on that comment.
YTA. i hope the dog pees in your mouth isnot a silly, half-conscious comment it’s really messed up and disrespectful.
Your stepdad and mom both seem to be projecting their own frustrations onto you instead of meeting you halfway. It’s not unreasonable to want space from that. If living with your dad gives you more peace of mind, that’s a valid choice.
So, you’re 13. There’s probably a lot more about what you’re saying and doing that gets under their skin that you aren’t fully aware of. Comes with the brain remodeling of adolescence.
And. They’re still adults. They’re human, they won’t be perfect, but they should be able to move past things after you apologize and offer you basic respect.
Your mom sounds like she’s worried about you socially and doesn’t understand her anxiety and pressure make it harder.
If your mom will see a family therapist with you it might help.
And your bio dad should understand what a hard time you’re having right now.
Side note: 13 is hard for most teens and parents. Doesn’t make it easier.
From what you’re describing, it sounds like your stepdad is consistently dismissive, mocking, and only values you when you do something for him. That’s not a healthy environment for anyone, especially a kid. Your mom’s constant pressure and criticism just add to the stress
You feel used and abused but you do seem to have an attitude. Do you think your dad would tolerate your behavior and comments and let you get away with the obvious rudeness you engage in?
You seem to brush off your own behaviors as “just a silly no big deal” thing. I worry you lack perspective and maybe empathy.
That said, them making money off you isn’t great either.
As for your mother pushing you to socialize, she may be worried you aren’t learning decent behavior or trying to do what she thinks is best for you and you could maybe have an open communication serious and honest discussion about it instead of balking and avoiding. Explain how you feel and see why she wants that for you by listening to her side.
Time to stop dismussing the issues and talk honestly with both and analyse why you prefer dad.
Not giving judgement but if you don’t get a bit serious about communicating about the problems, you’ll probably become one.
You are being treated badly by your mother and stepdad. You are right to feel like this. And please do not ever let anyone try to tell you that it’s your responsibility to make effort here – you’re the child.
Go to your dad if that’s where you feel comfortable. And just refuse to go to your mums. Nobody can force you. But your dad will need to go to court.
You don’t need to go there if you don’t want to. Just keep saying they’d have to physically drag you there against your will.
YTA. You’re a child, maybe do some maturing. Your stepdad doesn’t sound like a great dude either.
Completely understandable why you don’t want to live there your step-dad is a bully and your mom is sitting back and letting it go on. Speak with your dad about what you want and see if it’s doable because if your mom rejects it they may have to go to court so your dad needs to be prepared for that. But if alls good on his side you’ll need to decide who is best to speak with your mom about it. Ideally you and have your dad there if you feel you need the support but if it’s not a conversation you’re comfortable having with your mom alone or with your dad there than your dad can talk to her. Hope things work out for you.
of course not.