TL;DR: Took a receptionist job with family because they said I could do homework during downtime. A year later they changed their expectations, push extra responsibilities on me, won’t give me proper time off, and say I’m not prioritizing work. College is my priority and I’ve communicated that so much with them- would I be wrong to quit?
I (22 and disabled) am a full time college student currently working as a receptionist. I started working for a family member because they said I could do homework while I worked at the front desk. Great gig- took the job obviously.
I work my ass off and in the downtime I do homework.
About a year later they say that work should be my priority, which at work it is, and that I shouldn’t be doing so much schoolwork at work..? Again, I get everything done (and more- I’ve done so much for them that isn’t in my initial job description) before I even touch my schoolwork. I explain that to them and they lean heavy on that I’m not prioritizing work? I’m confused but I stand my ground, letting them know I only took the job because they explicitly said I could do homework during it. I told them if it clashes with my school I will either majorly reduce hours or just give my 2 weeks.
I didn’t say this bit but I can find and I am currently eyeing jobs with more rto availability, better pay, and flexible hours hours- I’ve had NO rto without it being treated as a problem this year. I’ve asked for maybe 3-5 days off- with most having two months advance, one being an emergency.
I just need an external voice here to tell me without bias if it’d be wrong if I quit. They have also pushed more work on me recently too- trying to get me into a manager role or doing change runs… (despite taking this job for the sole purpose of being able to do homework) I’ll admit- I took the change run role up out of guilt only to fall back and not be able to do it, leading to tension… and I think that’s where this is coming from but it’s adding stress onto my already stressed body and it’s making me sick. This year has been brutal and I just want to get my pre reqs done T-T
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TL;DR: Took a receptionist job with family because they said I could do homework during downtime. A year later they changed their expectations, push extra responsibilities on me, won’t give me proper time off, and say I’m not prioritizing work. College is my priority and I’ve communicated that so much with them- would I be wrong to quit?
I (22 and disabled) am a full time college student currently working as a receptionist. I started working for a family member because they said I could do homework while I worked at the front desk. Great gig- took the job obviously.
I work my ass off and in the downtime I do homework.
About a year later they say that work should be my priority, which at work it is, and that I shouldn’t be doing so much schoolwork at work..? Again, I get everything done (and more- I’ve done so much for them that isn’t in my initial job description) before I even touch my schoolwork. I explain that to them and they lean heavy on that I’m not prioritizing work? I’m confused but I stand my ground, letting them know I only took the job because they explicitly said I could do homework during it. I told them if it clashes with my school I will either majorly reduce hours or just give my 2 weeks.
I didn’t say this bit but I can find and I am currently eyeing jobs with more rto availability, better pay, and flexible hours hours- I’ve had NO rto without it being treated as a problem this year. I’ve asked for maybe 3-5 days off- with most having two months advance, one being an emergency.
I just need an external voice here to tell me without bias if it’d be wrong if I quit. They have also pushed more work on me recently too- trying to get me into a manager role or doing change runs… (despite taking this job for the sole purpose of being able to do homework) I’ll admit- I took the change run role up out of guilt only to fall back and not be able to do it, leading to tension… and I think that’s where this is coming from but it’s adding stress onto my already stressed body and it’s making me sick. This year has been brutal and I just want to get my pre reqs done T-T
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I don’t think I’m the asshole but if I am it’s because I’m prioritizing my college work over work.. but I explicitly explained that when I started working here
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
>because they said I could do homework during downtime
>A year later they changed their expectations, push extra responsibilities on me, won’t give me proper time off, and say I’m not prioritizing work
NTA. Sounds like a typical family business scenario. They’ll take everything you give them because “family helps family”, right? Lol. It’s up to you to prioritize yourself because that’s what they’re doing…prioritizing themselves.
NTA – the job requirements are changing, and you’re allowed to decide if you stay or leave. I would still be sure to give them the proper notice so they can find a replacement.
nta get out now, go low contact and finish your education. be well
NTA for leaving the job if it no longer works for you. They might be better off hiring someone that actually wants the job and would devote themself to it. Not that you haven’t, but now that expectations have changed, it’s not a good fit anymore. So if this isn’t going to work out, find a job that’s a better fit.
NTA…
Your schooling is the priority as.for the job… like you say, you can work elsewhere for more pay and less hassles
NTA.
College is your number one priority. Anything that prevents you from making college your number one priority is a problem.
Your only concern right now is whether it will be possible to find a better job. If it is, then quit this one without hesitation.
Unfortunately, what you’re experiencing often happens with family members. They use guilt to get more.
If you’re getting your work done, if the agreement was that you can study after getting your work done, then this person is being unreasonable. That said, if you said you agreed to do something and then didn’t follow through, then you owe the person an apology and you should do what you can to fix the problems that have resulted.
It sounds like it might be best to give the person as much notice as possible, then quit. If you will be available next summer, agree to come back then. That may help smooth the situation over.
NTA (or you would NOT be TA) for leaving your job.
My daughter refused a promotion to manager at work for two years because she knew her boss would not honor her class schedule at school. This year she got a manager she believes in (will honor her school days off of work), so she agreed to the promotion. (so far, so good)
If you saw this job as a good solid step toward building a career there and eventually running the company, that would be different. But it sounds like they need you more than you need them AND they are not honoring their original commitment to you.
Line up a job you want and then let your family know that you are giving two weeks notice. Be completely professional and polite about it. If they try to make it personal or attack you during family time, remain calm and tell them you appreciate them hiring your for the job originally, But it had become clear that they needed someone who could take on a bigger role and more responsibilities than you are willing to do while you are in college.
You may offer to provide a few hours (say, 4) of training for the receptionist role for whomever they hire to fulfill that responsibility. (Don’t offer to train in the areas that were not really your responsibility.) That would be a professional courtesy and will also make it (a little more) difficult for them to badmouth you.
I suspect they will be upset at you quitting/badmouth you because I suspect they want you to be less expensive labor for a higher level/more responsible position – (as their business grows?). Now they will have to pay someone market rate to do that work.
Your life your rules.
NTA. It sounds like they are moving the goalposts on you. And really, if you are a college student or a part-time employee, expecting you to prioritize work above all other things in your life is fucked up.
NTA Sounds like the relative thought you would be an easy vulnerable person to use-young, inexperienced and disabled. Good for you for standing up for yourself! Go ahead and find a different job, then give your notice. Be polite and professional, thank them for the opportunity, say you realize your school schedule is conflicting with their needs so you found a job that works better with your schedule. Stick to that story if other relatives start telling you that you were wrong to change jobs.
I always try to keep it professional with everyone when I change jobs. You never know when you will cross paths with a former work contact, and it can lead to a great opportunity if they think highly of you. For example, a few years from now you might cross paths with one of the relative’s former employees who can connect you to a great job. If you remained professional and classy when you left, that former co worker will think well of you and may help you land the great new job. If you get mad at the relative now, trash talk them to others, etc, then that co worker may doubt your professionalism and discretion and not help you land the job. You just never know.