Long story, but one of our dogs has just had surgery yesterday, and she has 3 large incisions with drains attached to them.
My husband decided to go out this afternoon at 4pm to see a friend (he’s arranged to sleep over at his friend’s house). I don’t get home from work until 6.30-6.45pm, and he is aware of this.
I knew he was going out, but I didn’t know he’d left early.
When I got home, the bandage/pad that should have been folded underneath our dog’s belly to soak up the draining fluids from her incisions was on the floor.
The body suit that she was wearing (whilst thankfully intact), was saturated with blood and fluid on the whole underside of her belly and one side where she has a large incision down her ribs. I was a bit shocked to be honest. She’d obviously been bouncing around without anyone there to supervise her. One of her incisions was dripping with blood as well, and there was some congealed/dried blood in two of the drains.
I was furious about this and rang my husband straight away to figure out why she’d been left. He said that she seemed “okay” and told me to basically “calm down” and get my brother to come over and help clean her up.
I told him that she shouldn’t have been left, and that he could have just waited for a couple more hours instead of just leaving her after what I’d consider quite major surgery.
After I’d peeled off her soiled bodysuit and cleaned her up, she seemed a bit more comfortable. Her body suit is now drying on the radiator after being washed, so I hope I can get it back on her tonight to keep the drains in place.
I messaged my husband and said that this was not okay, and that leaving her unsupervised was not fair to her, because she has to rely on us to help keep her comfortable and safe in order to heal.
He messaged back to this and said, “I’m glad she’s okay!”
I don’t even know what to say aside from the fact that I am disappointed in him.
Reddit, AITAH for being angry about this?
Comments
NTA. Poor doggy.
NTA. I would be enraged if this was my beloved pet!!! He is a huge AH and horrible human being. Take this as a sign and DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN WITH THIS MAN!
Your husband basically left a recovering dog-drains, stitches, blood and all-alone for hours like it’s no big deal. That’s not “calm down,” that’s reckless
NTA but your husband is. Your dog just had a major surgery and it’s irresponsible of your husband to leave her alone unsupervised like that. The state you found her in could’ve ended up with her getting an infection or something.
NTA. Wait til it’s a kid with a soiled diaper and diaper rash.
Your husband is showing you how cares for (re: neglects) living things dependent on him.
NTA
I will join you in your FURY.
If you are on the verge of divorce this would be a catalyst.
Animal neglect and abuse is just sickening to me.
Send lovies to the dog!
Info: why is your grown ass husband staying overnight at a friends house like he’s 7? Why didn’t you insist HE come home and clean up the mess HE made??
NTA but you have a huge husband problem you should be dealing with if this is how he behaves.
NTA. He could have changed plans when dog’s surgery was scheduled.
Why was this dog not in a crate? Dogs feel secure in their crate and they will mostly sleep. The crate is nice and clean,has a comfy cushion and smells like him. 2 1/2 hours away from a dog is not alot but if the dog was loose in the house and tearing out stitches & wick tubes then tat is a problem.
If she’s really full of energy thatz an excellent sign. But you could ask your vet for a little phenobarbital to mildly tranquilize her until she’s healed enough to not leak fluids. Phenobarbital is the active ingredient in Donatal which is used for babies with colic. We also use it when we are going to ship a dog on an airplane to prevent shipping sickness.
Was there a definite agreement that he would dogsit until you came home from work? Is this not his dog? He doesn’t seem very concerned. Like it was someone else’s dog.
NTA. The level of fury I would have about this would likely land me in jail
NTA
I really love and cherish my animals, nobody else will protect and care for them like me and my partner. I can trust him to love them just as infinitely as I do. This would be an unrecoverable doffense to me. He acted immorally and left an innocent animal in pain when it couldn’t understand or do anything, and why? because he didn’t wanna deal with it. that’s why he slept over at his friend’s house.
I don’t wanna add to the “divorce” chorus but both you and your pups deserve better. imagine this same scenario but you’re postpartum. Or you just got a serious illness diagnosis like MS or cancer. Do you really think he’d care for you then?
NTA A sleep over with his friend? Is he 12? Is that who you married, a man child who has sleep overs with his friends and shirks his responsibilities like a vulnerable dog who needed supervision? I would take the dogs and find someone more mature.
I hope your loyal and loving family member heals up well from her surgery.
I hope your husband gets a big poke in the eye for being an immature jerk.
If the day ever comes, choose the dog. NTA.
Your poor dog. That was unnecessary and very thoughtless of your husband. I would be totally pissed off. It was something you better have a good talk with him about that — several times and then some until you’re convinced that he really truly gets it. … and then some.
If you ever decide to have children, this line of thinking could be a dealbreaker for that. He just doesn’t understand that being OK in the moment means that they’re still going to be OK hours later.
Your hubby left early for a “sleepover”?
You may have more problems than the dog.
NTA. Do not have children with this man, and leave him and take the dog. He’s not responsible. What happens if you get in a car accident tomorrow and have to rely on him to take care of you?
NTA.
Your husband is sleeping over at his friend’s house. Does this friend live in another country?
NTA your husband lacks care an empathy. He is not someone I would trust my fate in, in old age.
What a dick. He is the AH entirely.
Did you ask him to keep an eye on the dog?
He may be kinda dumb, but not necessarily doing something unreasonable.
NTA
I don’t understand why ppl are so caught up with the sleepover as if an adult person cannot have fun or whatever activities with friends, even after they are married.
BUT
if I was in a similar situation and my partner told me he would go out when our dog was just post surgery that would be strike one. I’d be pissed.
Out and to sleep is strike two.
left before I was home to watch my fur baby is strike three. I’d never trust this man ever again, might as well get a divorce.
“oh, but you’re being over the top, why not talk to him?” THE F I AM
NTA. One of our dogs had ACL surgery in May, then our other dog had to have emergency eye removal surgery in June, the other eye removed in July, and a follow up surgery for the second eye two weeks later. My boyfriend dropped everything for them. Changed his work schedule, skipped hockey games, skipped an out of town boys weekend. Laid on the floor with them, watched them intently, always made sure they were okay. I don’t know how you can stay with someone that left your sweet, helpless baby like that.
I would have lost it. She needed to have supervision, like a child. What would he do if this had been a child?
NTA.