I (20F) and my boyfriend (21M) have been together for 2 years. We’re both international students.
In our first year, he convinced me to lend him money. I thought it would be short-term, but repayment kept getting delayed. Later, during a brief breakup, he went on a long trip to Norway and spent on gear, a jacket, and other things. When I asked about the money, he got very emotional, had a panic attack, and told me things like “don’t I deserve a trip?”
Months later, his financial situation worsened. He needed a large sum for college, and since we live almost like a married couple, I felt compelled to help. I ended up giving him my entire savings — €3700. He still needed more, and I told him I might ask my dad. But my dad already struggles to pay for my education, so I couldn’t actually go through with it. My boyfriend saw that as a betrayal since I had mentioned asking, but I just couldn’t put more on my dad.
Now he owes me €3700, which is all I had saved. He hasn’t been studying enough, so he might fail and have to return to his home country, where earning potential is much lower. That makes me feel insecure about ever getting the money back.
I trust him — he’s not the kind of person who would scam me, and he is genuinely sweet. But he doesn’t show much accountability with money, and sometimes he comes across as entitled. I feel drained because I know he relied on me so much, but at the same time, I don’t think he should have taken money from me in the first place.
Now he says that when he needs me the most, I’m trying to distance myself. That makes me feel guilty. But I also feel like I have to protect my future stability.
TL;DR: Boyfriend owes me €3700 (all my savings). He keeps delaying repayment, spent on a trip while still owing me, and now needs more money for college. I trust him but he shows little accountability and feels entitled at times. I feel guilty for pulling back when he says he “needs me most,” but I’m scared I’ll never get my savings back. How do I support him without risking my own stability?