Let me explain
So I forgot how the conversation came up but it somehow it ended up with him saying that it’s okay for men to sleep around but not women. He kept saying that it’s different for men because of the “ANATOMY” and that it looks bad on women because we stretch overtime depending how many partners we sleep with. That no “MEN” wants a woman that have slept around because if she did, it doesn’t feel good (having sex, because of the “stretching”). He also wanted to show me a podcast on how people were taking about this topic and I didn’t wanna hear any of it. He just kept on agreeing that man is fine to sleep around more and women are not supposed to. This ended up in a little argument and it stopped when some friends came up.
We didn’t talk about it again but it made me so furious because this sounds soooo sexist to me and it made me so disappointed to know that he thinks that way.
Comments
Not even reading past the headline, I’m just going to rephrase your question.
Am I an asshole for noticing that my boyfriend is a hypocrite?
Clearly no. NTA.
Edit: I actually did read it and your boyfriend is an utter moron. We all lose muscle tone and skin elasticity over time. That’s all that’s going to happen. Penises don’t stretch out vaginas permanently. Neither do babies.
NTA, he needs to learn something about actual anatomy and stop listening to misogynistic pod casts. Honestly you’re seeing his true nature, consider a change, there are real men out there who dont have to think like neanderthals and will be a better partner for you.
Move on. That’s a red flag. Next it will be, “cheating men should be forgiven.”
Misogyny unmasked.
Being a hoe is being a hoe. Guys can be hoes as well. There’s just a different term for that, as they’re called F-boys.
Generally, there’s far more risk than reward for sleeping around, and that applies to both genders. In my opinion, even a spectacular 15 minutes of fun isn’t worth risk of STIs or happy accidents. Nobody wants the kind of gift that keeps on giving.
NTA
Leave him, firstly coming from a medical background it’s not true women ‘stretch’ over time, does he think the same about a woman who’s had 1 partner her whole life?
Secondly with him talking like that it would make me second guess his values and how he would act
Your bf is an idiot
you’re dating an absolute idiot lol. and he’s a misogynist. the “stretching” thing is bs. women literally give birth… and continue having sex afterwards…. he’s a dumbass. congratulations.
Why you wasting your time with him?
NTA – There are lots of red flags in this that indicate your guy is listen to manosphere podcasts. You’d be wise to run before it gets worse.
He is a cheater. Dump him.
NTA He sounds crazy. You deserve a normal person. He’s making excuses for when he cheats. Get away from this weirdo.
If it’s okay for a man to sleep around, but not women, then which ‘women’ is he sleeping with if they’re not supposed to be having sex in the first place?
His opinion is not even based in reality or fact, it’s just pure misogyny. I would never stay with someone like this. NTA. UPDATEME
Code for “I don’t want to compare my dick size with other men”.
Your sexual past and actions etc are on you
If your choices shrink your dating pool it is what it is
If you save yourself for marriage you shrink your dating pool
If you fuck the whole town you shrink your dating pool
Make your choices and live with it.
Gender doesnt matter if you make a choice potential suitors will either accept or reject those decisions. That is life
NTA. Just reading the title alone in the little bit I did of the post, he is a complete hypocrite. You should not feel bad and I would really wonder about being in that relationship.
Definitely NTA. And girl I would leave him just based on “men can do this but women can’t” mind set. It’s childish!
Obviously you’re NTA, you would be to yourself though if you continue this relationship, most men with that mindset it’s not gonna change, there’s plenty of people out there don’t feel limited to stay with someone that you already know this probably isn’t going to work in the long run.
NTA. Dude is a poster child for toxic masculinity.
You’re TA to yourself if you stay with him.
The numbers do not add up. If men sleep around and women do not, exactly who are the men sleeping around with? Maybe your bf needs a test for HIV?
NTA. Firstly, vaginas are elastic and shrink/stretch- they don’t stay stretched after sex. Secondly, if he thinks men sleeping around is ok then he’s prolly cheating. I’d break up before he cheats and blames his “anatomy”. Also IMO these type of men never know actual anatomy and just use the lock and key analogy. So, I just use the pencil and sharpener analogy in response 😭
NTA your bf is stupid and doesn’t understand how female sexual organs work. Haha
Are you sure he’s not gay? His math ain’t mathing. 😀
NTA. Dump him, he’s not worth it girl
A key that opens all locks is a master key. A lock that is opened by any key is a shitty lock.
is he ok because what does he mean lol. are you “stretched out” now that you’ve slept with him X amount of times throughout your relationship? what’s his response lol and does he think that after giving birth that the vagina is just forever a cavern ooorrrrrrr
So if women are not supposed to sleep around, are men only supposed to sleep around with other men?
Well his reasoning surrounding it is absurd but it is generally true that “society” frowns upon promiscuity way more with women than with men
Can this be changed or addressed? I’m not sure.
Sooooo…. He’s sleeping around with other men. Got it 👍🏻
He clearly HASN’T slept around because he would have discovered that his theory is false.
It is sexist. It makes sense that you are upset by this.
I wouldn’t want to be with someone who thinks he can stick his pecker wherever and it doesn’t mean anything.
Your boyfriend is a straight-up dumbass, and you’re putting up with him because…?
NTA
He’s dumb af. The whole ‘women stretch if they sleep around’ myth is medically false. Vaginas are elastic muscle tissue… they contract after sex. By his logic, if a woman had sex with one man 100 times she’d stay the same, but 100 men once each would somehow change her body? That’s just nonsense. The only long-term changes come from age, hormones, or childbirth, not body count. Honestly, he’s just parroting sexist purity culture with zero science behind it.
Do vaginas get loose, or do penises shrink??? Get my drift? :p
I assume that he, and all the men who think like him, are having sex with each other? Because they wouldn’t want to be ‘ruining’ women (or ‘ruining’ other men’s experiences with women, if they are that far down the rabbit hole that they don’t care about women apart from their orifices).
Why be upset with someone you dumped for being a misogynistic idiot?
Your next boyfriend will be better. Literally has to be.
NTA
does your boyfriend know, men who want to sleep around only do it for babies.. theres zero other reason to be fuckin around w many women if you’re not intentionally growing your bloodline. it’s slutty.
Definitely a dumpable offence. What a sexist pig.
You can do better.
You are the asshole for a rage bait post and for having horrible taste in men
NTA – you know that this opinion is just one part of a whole framework of sexist beliefs, attitudes and entitlements he has, right? At some point, you’ll hear about what are women’s job or women’s responsibilities and, unsurprisingly, most of them will involve unpaid domestic labour, child-rearing, and serving him.
You can’t say he didn’t tell you when it happens.
Nta…dump the bf. Mostly for being a complete moron. Women conform to their partner and if you seem looser its actually because you’re aroused by your partner. Does dude just thing were out here just flapping in the wind after giving birth? Seriously this little boys perception of what goes on down below gave me a migraine from shaking my head so hard. Do yourself a huge favor and get rid of the red pill.
Another ignorant redpilled “man”
Stretched? Oh.My.God.
NTA. Your boyfriend is dumb as rocks and has the values of a Neanderthal
Ask him if he knows how tampons work and how small lite tampons are, that have 0 issue staying stuck in women as they go through the day doing activities without sliding out. Ask him if he’s saying he’s smaller than a lite tampon.
YTA if you stay with him. NTA for being upset.
Run, it doesn’t matter how the conversation began, you must understand that your partner is okay with not being faithful. Move on or surrender your health and pH balance, dignity, and self-esteem to. Person that you know does not respect or desire you enough to be faithful to you.
NTA!
Clearly, he is misinformed pit how bodies work. Women’s bodies are not metal. We are elastic, so our bodies do stretch but that elasticity is not permanent.
So you shouldn’t be sleeping around with your boyfriend. You can tell him no. You need to keep your elasticity for something better.
You could get yourself a dildo, one that is thicker than his and tell him you’re getting ready to look for Mr. Better.
Truthfully he needs to go.
What is he 12?
And as soon as you said podcast I immediately went “red pill/manosphere/andrew tate”. Dump the extremely uneducated moron.
And yes, it’s sexist and misogynistic. Any woman not a virgin learns to relax and not be tense. It doesn’t matter if she’s a virgin before marriage or someone with multiple partners who enjoys a good time. After a couple of times they stop being tight because they aren’t tensing up.
Oh please I’m begging you, dump his ass. First of all he’s a sexist pig and second of all he’s completely ignorant about how women’s bodies work. He’s getting this shit from toxic masculinity videos. If he’s watching that shit, you don’t want to be with him.
NTA. Ick. Leave this red flag 🚩 he’s going down a podcast path that’s not conducive for partnership with actual women. Move on.
NTA …. 75(m) tell him the facts … women don’t stretch but penis’ shrink