What should I(F20) say to this guy(M21) I’ve been talking to?

Tldr: After rejecting the guy(M21 I’m(F20) talking to, I want to take it back and tell him I was interested. Should I?

So I(F20) accepted a date from this guy(F21) at college. I hope this isn’t too shallow of me, but I just didnt feel this immediate attraction to him because his looks didn’t really align to the standards I have. After the date, I got to know him and he’s a nice and fun guy to talk to and we got a long well, having the same values and both Christian. But I kind of thought that it would’ve been better if we were friends and thats how I was going to treat us. Also, he had not explicitly stated that it was a date, but the implications were there.

We continued to hang out for the rest of the week by studying and eating together, and I really enjoyed being with him becaude, like I said, he was nice to talk to. The second day we met up, we talked a lot about our type and if we had previous relationships. I knew he was testing the waters and he asked me if I would date anyone right now and I told him that I wouldn’t have time for a boyfriend because I work and have classes. This was me trying to tell him that I wasn’t interested in dating him at the moment. Throughout the rest of the week, he started to be more obviously with his flirting and I tried my best to deflect it and I was really debating on whether I should be completely honest and tell him I have no intentions to date him.

I didnt want to lose what we had at that moment because honestly, I’m pretty introverted so I dont make much friends and I knew that if I was going to turn him down, he would probably stop talking to me a lot. However, this past Saturday, i decided that I didnt want to keep leading him on and I told him that I had no intentions to date and that I wanted to stay friends because I cherished our friendship more than pursuing a romantic relationship with him. But now I think I was just lying. After telling him that, he did kind of start to distance but he was still interested in what I was doing and stuff.

However, after telling him all that, I started doubting myself because he was EXACTLY my type. Personality-wise, he pretty much fit a lot of what I wanted in a guy. I feel so shallow saying this but it was just his looks that didnt really appeal to me, he’s not ugly but I think I prefer something different. I kept thinking that maybe I should take it back and just tell him I was interested because I honestly dont want to lose this opportunity. I prayed about it and asked God for a sign and that if the guy asked me to study together on the day we get back to school, I would take it as a sign to continue this thing with him. I wanted to take back whatever I told him and to tell him that I was interested. And the guy DID ask invite me to study together and so I went. It was like usual and it wasnt awkward, so I was relieve that nothing had changed. But I couldn’t bring myself to tell him that I didnt mean what I said on saturday.

To be truthful, my first and only relationship happened because I was young and I liked the attention that I got from my first bf. I was afraid that this was happening with the guy I was talking to. I didnt want a situation to happen like that again, but I never told the current guy that and I wanted to tell him. However, I was scared that since i know im not into his looks, I would basically be lying to myself and to him.

Even now, I’m still not sure if I want to be with him becaude of his interest in me, or if its because I actually am interested in him. I’ve been thinking about it for like four days to be truthful about it. I keep finding myself notice little things about him and seeing it attractive, it’s kinda driving me crazy. And whenever I dont see him, it makes me miss him. Its only been a full week since our first date, so I dont know if its too early, but I need advice on if I should tell him all of that or not.

I’ll take any criticism tbh, I just want to know what to do 😭