I (F 20) met a guy (M 24) on Bumble about 2 weeks ago. From the start it felt like a deep connection, we had so much in common, he was warm, attentive, and seemed really into me.
•The night before our first date, he asked to come to my place around midnight. I said no (very politely).
•We had our first date (was really nice. He was so affectionate and kind. It felt intimate), but after that his replies slowed down and he often said he was “busy.”
•Before the second time we were supposed to meet, he again asked to come to my place at midnight (after a concert). I said no (again, very politely).
•Still, we scheduled our “second date.” He planned to come over around 11pm after seeing his friends. But just a few hours before, he texted: “I’m not in the mood to stay over or do anything else. It’s rushed. I’m not sure we have the right connection.”
After that, he went completely cold. Even when I wished him well, he didn’t say anything kind back, which was very different from how sweet he was before.
Here’s my problem: I can’t stop thinking about him. It’s been less than 2 weeks, only one date, and I know he’s leaving the country soon, but I keep replaying it in my head wondering what I did wrong.
Why would someone go from warm to cold so fast? Was it never real for him? And how do I stop obsessing over someone I barely knew? It feels like I lost something significant.
TL;DR: Met a guy on Bumble, felt a deep connection, went on one date, but after I declined him coming over late at night, he canceled our second date and said we didn’t have the right connection. Now he’s cold and I can’t stop obsessing over him even though it was only 2 weeks. Why does it feel so significant?