TL:DR. If you or your partner hides your/their phone… it’s over
I see sooo many posts in here and other subreddits about phones, hiding stuff, feeling guilty about checking, DMs, IG messages…etc etc etc
It kinda blows my mind.
If your partner isn’t OK with you having full access to your phone, then your partner is shit. I’m 49 years old. Been in 1 marriage, had 2 kids, had multiple monogamous relationships, a couple of non-monogamous, a few live-in girlfriends, a few long distance girlfriends. I’ve been through the entire spectrum of relationships. Long distance, live in, married, ENM, etc.
At no point…. In ANY of my relationships… would I ever have given a shit if my partner picked up my phone and thumbed through it.
Never cared about leaving it face up while we had a movie night. Leaving it u locked while I shower? OK. “Who’s texting you? I do t know, check it.”
If a partner DID look at it unannounced… I might have been a little perturbed about a perceived “lack of trust”… but would have talked through it.
This part is EXTREMELY SIMPLE. If you are hiding your phone from your partner, you are the problem. If your partner is hiding their phone from you… they are the problem and you two are done.
/rant
Comments
I think there’s a sweet spot where neither of you are actively hiding your phone from your partner but neither of you feels the need to snoop through each other’s shit either.