TLDR: my partner has what feels like perfect qualities and I feel like I don’t measure up to him. How can I stop feeling this way?
I (32f) have been with my partner (34m) for nearly 9 years. We’ve had lots of ups and downs but in the end we have worked through them and now I feel that my partner is “better” than me in a lot of ways. My confidence has shot down because I have hormone imbalances and it has affected my appearance a lot (my hair, skin, weight distribution, etc.) I have way less confidence than when we met and I look nothing like when we met. I have this horrible feeling that I’m just going to continue to get old and washed up and he’s just going to keep getting better. He’s very attractive, wonderful in bed, he now has a steady job that pays well, he’s great help around the house, he’s wonderful with my family and friends, and he’s so kind to me emotionally too. He’s the kind of guy that learns quick and can fix almost anything. I just see him and find him to be almost perfect. He makes me feel safe with him, I don’t feel he would cheat, but I still just feel like he deserves better than me. I feel like he got better and I got worse over the years. I don’t know what I can do to measure up to the level I feel he is at. I feel like I would have to be someone I’m not, literally. I think he deserves someone more attractive than me and with less mental and physical health problems. How do I stop having these feelings about our relationship? I think it affects how happy I am with him because I always feel like I’m not enough and he would be happier with someone else. I have talked to him about these feelings and he said he only wants me, but I just know that in a room full of women I’m not exactly the best or top choice. But in a room full of men, I feel like my partner is definitely one of the best choices.