Tried posting in relationship advice so I’m not sure if this is the right subreddit but it wouldn’t work so I hope yall can help me. For context I 23/f started seeing someone 35/m in July. It’s now beginning of September. This started off well as just a fwb kind of thing. It’s now gotten to the point where I’m staying the night at his house multiple days in a row. He has said in the past he wants a relationship but there are things that are holding him back and he’s hesitant to start one. There’s been a lot of little things that have happened but long story short I just feel like he doesn’t care. He’s pretty short and dry when we’re texting and when we see each other he’s either really into talking to me or he doesn’t talk to me at all. For example. He texted me and invited me to come over the other day after work so I agreed and I end up getting out late. He tells me to meet him at the bar so I do. I ask him if I’m still going home with him and he says “I haven’t thought that far ahead” ????? Okay???? But that was the original plan so now I’m confused? And then he wants to say I get upset every time I can’t come over? But that’s not the case? It’s that hes inviting me over and then backing out and un inviting me? Fast forward to today. I lost my mom several years ago while I was very young and today’s her birthday. He knew about this. I expressed how I was feeling and how I didn’t wanna spend the day alone like I always do every year. He proceeds to say (unsure if it was a joke or not) “well I’m gonna be out of town that day so looks like you are gonna spend the day alone “. Cool cool cool. So nice of you. Anyway moving on. Turns out he ended up being back in town today and he texted me twice the whole day. We met at the bar and he didn’t say two sentences to me and then closed out and left after the game ended. I texted him asking if he got home okay and he never responded. I’ve been through a lot in my short life and I don’t want to waste my time with someone who doesn’t care. I just want to know if I should just drop him or if I should try to talk to him about what’s been making me upset? In the time we’ve been together he’s h taken me to meet his coworkers and his sister and friends but at the same time I feel like he has no interest in who I am? He never even asked me if I was okay or anything about my mom when I told him her birthday was coming up ? Any advice is well received. There’s been a lot of other stuff that happened that I won’t go into. But he has a tendency to make it seem like anytime I have a problem I’m calling him an asshole or some random thing I never said. Please let me know if I should just back out while it’s still early and please be nice. I don’t have a lot of experience with relationships. Thanks in advance you guy. Last thing i will say is he is still hesitant to be in an actual relationship and commit to me.
TLDR: I’ve been seeing someone for a couple months and I’m not sure if the red flags are worth ignoring.