We (19F and 19M) have been together for 6 months and it feels like I’m trapped. He gets mad when I look at a guy, even if it’s by accident, even if it’s for 1 second on tiktok (not even a thirst trap) When his friends have found me attractive and mentioned it, he gets mad at me for looking too happy around them or for wearing makeup??? I understand that it’s HIS way of ‘loving’ me but there’s a limit to how possessive one can be. Especially if it bothers ur partner, which I’ve explained to him multiple times. I know the comments I will recieve and how I should break it off, but it’s hard to when he knows where I live. If there’s anyone who went through the same situation as me, it would be very much appreciated to hear some advice.
TL;DR, my bf and I have been struggling to stay together due to his possessiveness and now I’m wondering how to go about the situation.
Comments
This is not his way of loving. It’s just control.
You fix this by removing yourself from his control permanently and finding someone who acrually respects you.
Girl, that’s not normal or healthy. That’s controlling and insecurity. What’s next? You can’t have social media because a man pops up on your screen? Honestly, I have noticed a lot of the time this insecurity stems from projection. If someone doesen’t even want you to look at someone else, its because they think you will jump ship if anyone gives you attention (because they will do the same). A lot of people (guys especially) stay in a relationship but still are looking for a “better partner.”
Tell your family and friends.
Don’t stay in a hostage situation out of fear.
His anger is escalating.
Spending time with him could be dangerous, he can still hurt you within a relationship.
Meet him in a public place and end it.
If he makes threats to you or himself – involve the police and tell your support system
Do not keep quiet about this. That’s how abusers gain power over their victims.
He’s a insecure, immature boy who will continue to have issues with everything and anything.
This dude is extremely insecure. Can you imagine the rest of your life living walking on eggshells, trying to avoid upsetting him?
Imagine 5 years time. You’ve just finished work. You come home slightly late because you were talking to a colleague about a file (Jason). You now either have to lie to your partner to avoid him ruining the evening or explain why you’re 10 minutes late talking to a colleague.
Only it’s not one incident, it’s all the time.
Does that sound fun? Get out now.
You can either break up by text or in a public place with at least two friends as witnesses/backup. Best if one of those friends is an intimidating male. Block him everywhere.
If he show up at your home or work, tell him to leave. If he refuses, call police.
If your parents are good people who will support you, tell them what’s going on.
love is not control. when you are with someone who is trying to control you they are not actually loving you. this is a sign of bad things to come. one of the things YOU need to do is learn to TRUST YOURSELF when you see signs like this and end the relationship so you build healthy dating and romantic trends. Honestly you are going to save yourself thousands of dollars in therapy just by breaking the relationship off.
When someone makes you uncomfortable, take that seriously. In this case, yes he’s nuts. Start running.