M26. I live in a building that only offers studios. I love it. The rooms are spacious, bright, and has a balcony overlooking trees and the outdoors. It’s quiet, relaxing, and in a nice neighborhood. Honestly, it’s the kind of layout that makes living alone enjoyable, which is great for me, since I prefer to be alone and not have to interact too much with people.
The problem is that this building has a door that connects the parking area to the stairs. This door is the only access. Everyone has a key, without exception. The problem is that some neighbors don’t seem to want to bring theirs. And since I live on the first floor (and there’s no one else downstairs), guess whose doorbell they ring every time they’re locked? Mine.
At first, I didn’t mind helping out occasionally, people forget their keys. But it’s become a habit for some. Instead of taking responsibility and carrying their own keys, they just rely on me to let them in and out. I’ve gotten to the point of deliberately ignoring the doorbell to avoid any confrontation. But the problem is, they don’t just go away. They keep ringing the doorbell shamelessly, as if I were their personal doorman.
It’s frustrating. I love this space, but I no longer feel that sense of privacy when I’m treated like this. A neighbor who forgets their keys every now and then is one thing, but making it a habit at the expense of my peace of mind and boundaries is another. I’ve already disconnected the doorbell, should I paste a note on the door asking not to be disturbed?
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M26. I live in a building that only offers studios. I love it. The rooms are spacious, bright, and has a balcony overlooking trees and the outdoors. It’s quiet, relaxing, and in a nice neighborhood. Honestly, it’s the kind of layout that makes living alone enjoyable, which is great for me, since I prefer to be alone and not have to interact too much with people.
The problem is that this building has a door that connects the parking area to the stairs. This door is the only access. Everyone has a key, without exception. The problem is that some neighbors don’t seem to want to bring theirs. And since I live on the first floor (and there’s no one else downstairs), guess whose doorbell they ring every time they’re locked? Mine.
At first, I didn’t mind helping out occasionally, people forget their keys. But it’s become a habit for some. Instead of taking responsibility and carrying their own keys, they just rely on me to let them in and out. I’ve gotten to the point of deliberately ignoring the doorbell to avoid any confrontation. But the problem is, they don’t just go away. They keep ringing the doorbell shamelessly, as if I were their personal doorman.
It’s frustrating. I love this space, but I no longer feel that sense of privacy when I’m treated like this. A neighbor who forgets their keys every now and then is one thing, but making it a habit at the expense of my peace of mind and boundaries is another. I’ve already diaconnected the doorbell, should I paste a note on the door asking not to be disturbed?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. I deliberately not answer my door to avoid letting people in and out of the building at the expense of my peace. Despite them having their own keys and not carrying it along.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA – The keyed entryway is to ensure resident safety. You don’t know everyone in the building – someone who you are familiar with might have even gotten evicted, so ‘But you *know* me!’ isn’t valid identification.
Tell them that in the interest of everyone’s security, you are no longer opening the door to anyone.
NTA
I would be absolutely furious if people used me as their defacto doorman.
Tbh I’d be tempted to put a note on the door that says “First time you forget your keys it’s free. $10 for every time after that.”
Maybe you can switch off the bell if you’re not expecting anyone?
NTA of course.
NTA, and no need for a note. Enjoy your disconnected doorbell, they will improvise, adapt and overcome.
Also: if they ever try to address this with you in person, remember not to JADE (justify, argue, defend, explain), you do not owe anyone anything with regard to this. Have a fixed phrase ready to minimize discomfort.
NTA. Just because you’re home doesn’t mean you’re available. I would be livid if people kept knocking on my door because they failed to be responsible. I couldn’t live there with people constantly knocking on the door. Can you put a sign up saying “forgot your keys? Maybe next time you won’t” and not answer the door?
NTA – keep not letting them in, maybe put up a sign, eventually they’ll learn
NTA. if they’re going to the parking garage (presumably to their car) why would they not keep the key to the stairs on their car key ring?
NTA. Occasional forgetfullness is fine, being a pain in the ass is not.
NTA- don’t bother with a note. Just let them scream into the void. They’ll soon get the message
NTA
Have you tried reporting these neighbours to the landlord or building manager? Maybe they can help you.
Until then definitely keep your doorbell switched off unless you’re expecting someone.
disconnect that shit and let them figure out basic life skills on their own
Put up a sign that says,$50. every time you open the door for anyone who forgets their keys. No exceptions. Add a snarky line at the bottom that says if you can’t afford it don’t ring!
Disconnect the doorbell with a kill switch. Leave it off unless you are expecting someone. I had the same issue in a building with Airbnbs. Dumb tourists forgetting their keys and buzzing everyone to let them in.
Unless they are tipping you as a doorman, turn off your doorbell. Leave it there though so they think it is making noise.
NTA can’t you turn of the doorbell? I do that when young ppl think it’s fun to keep ringing mine at 2 in the morning
lol at the dumb tourists. but seriously, the audacity of ppl not carrying keys 😂”
NTA
Regardless f how long they ring, don’t open the door. When you open the door, you are just training them to ring more.
Can you install a switch for your doorbell, so you can turn it off?